Tales of Free Falling
by Celirian
Summary: A year after Yuri's fall at Zaude, a broken world is putting itself back together and learning to adapt. Now it's Yuri's turn to confront his own mistakes, namely a decision he made in a haze of pain and pride. This time, though, mistakes have their prices and no one involved is getting off easy. Two-shot.
1. Chapter 1

Tales of Free Falling

Summary: A year after Yuri's fall at Zaude, a broken world is putting itself back together and learning to adapt. Now it's Yuri's turn to confront his own mistakes, namely a decision he made in a haze of pain and pride. This time, though, mistakes have their prices and no one involved is getting off easy. Two-shot.

A/N: This is a collaboration project between myself and Legi, known as Salazarfalcon on this site. It's already been posted on her page for awhile so please please please don't tell me I'm copy writing because uh...I'm not.

Also. I normally refrain from warnings like this because I think that people should be mature enough to know where the back button is if they don't like something I write, but I'll do it this once because this is involves a very hot-button character. This fic is not very kind to Sodia; we've both tried our best to avoid bashing but the subject matter itself does not paint her in a very good light. If you're cool with that, I salute you. If not, might I direct you upwards to your handy-dandy back button.

But if you're cool...enjoy!

* * *

"Hey, Flynn," Yuri says when Flynn's paid the check and they're getting ready to leave the little cafe in the Lower Quarter, "I need to talk to you."

"I thought that's what we've been doing," Flynn says with a cock of his head and a quizzical eyebrow, "What's going on? You look pretty serious."

Yuri opens the door casually, letting his friend pass through to the winding streets first. He looks up the tiered road towards the Royal Quarter and the ever present castle. He'd never thought too highly of the castle until recently; it was always a place that he had held in contempt. Not without reason either. It was surrounded by the Royal Quarter where people had their heads so high they probably didn't know what color the grass was, and they were always so focused on themselves that he figured they probably didn't know what color the sky was either. The jail was in the dungeon of the castle, and that was never a place he enjoyed staying (even if he never really regretted anything he did to get himself thrown in there).

But then, his epic journey began with a happenstance meeting with a quirky princess.

Now the castle was something important to him. It was the place where he had had a major turning point in his life and it was now home to two of his best friends. It was a place he had witnessed and done things he never could have imagined (both good and bad) from being attacked by that crazy assassin Zagi after his fateful meeting with Estelle, to Alexei almost destroying all of Zaphias and uncovering the Shrine of Zaude.

_Zaude_. That was the whole reason he had come back to Zaphias this time.

Yuri gives his friend a sideways glance and realizes that the blond has his 'what the hell is going on with you?' face. Flynn is too damned perceptive for his own good. Yuri thought that he had said 'let's talk' innocently enough, but he should have known better. There was never, _ever_ anything getting past Flynn Scifo when it came to Yuri Lowell.

Cracking his usual mischievous smirk to try and ease up his friend's obvious suspicions, Yuri points up the road."Let's head back to the castle first. I want to see how ridiculously big your new office is, Commandant."

Flynn furrows his already furrowed brows further.

"Well...all right, then," he replies with a note of blatant suspicion in his voice. Yuri grins at him, a crooked little half grin that doesn't make Flynn feel any better or lessen the suspicion in the slightest. "My office isn't that big. I almost miss the old one; it was...homier, you know?" Anyone else would be lying but Flynn's actually be honest about it; the office might be bigger but he doesn't really need it. The bigger chair is nice, though.

The streets are warm and familiar and people still greet them when they pass, and Flynn waves and grins with the best of them. He might be a knight, a captain, a commandant, a hero, but this place is still home and he'll never forget it. These are his people and he knows them, and he saw many of them grow up and many of them saw _him_ grow up. It doesn't matter how high his rank gets, he won't ever forget where he comes from. Sometimes, that's the only thing that makes the position worth it because he can do it now; he can make his voice heard for those people who don't have one and who aren't used to being heard.

Estelle hears them and that's something that's still new to everyone.

As they walk, something fidgets underneath his skin, like a dread as heavy as a brand.

And not for the first time, Flynn Scifo worries.

Hoping to break the awkward silence and distract his friend with small talk, Yuri puts his hands in his pockets and glances around at the buildings, a small hint of nostalgia on his face. "Man, it feels like I haven't been back here in ages."

In truth it hadn't really been that long; a solid two months since his last job had given him the opportunity to take a side trip to the capital for a day, but each time he has come back since permanently taking up residence in Dahngrest, Yuri has found himself seeing things he never noticed before. Like how all the buildings in the Lower Quarter were more welcoming, more homey, than the mansions in the upper ring, despite being sun washed and more than slightly dilapidated. When he had lived there, all the Lower Quarter really was was a place to sleep, eat, and try to figure out how to make it through the next day in a similar manner.

He's also started to miss seeing the old familiar faces like Hanks, Rick, and that guy who always hangs out at the bottom of the stairwell to his room whose name he still doesn't know. Dahngrest has its own familiar faces, but it's different.

What was it that the old man said before Yuri left? _Home is home no matter where you end up._ It was kind of disgustingly wistful, but this, like with most things Raven says, Yuri finds himself agreeing with despite the gross feeling that maybe he too was getting old.

"It has been a while," Flynn agrees. "Seems like your guild is going well, though." He forces his way through the tension to give Yuri a side-eye and continues, "I've noticed that Estelle keeps hiring Brave Vesperia on for small jobs to get you back here more often. Bet her account's through the roof."

Like Yuri's going to make her pay up, ever. The sky will be green and polka-dotted first.

"Yeah, I could live in the lap of luxury for two lifetimes." Yuri rolls his eyes and flips his bangs out of his face, looking every direction but Flynn's as they march through the ritzy Royal Quarter towards the castle. He could never feel comfortable walking though here, even if he was with Estelle or Flynn. "Or, you know, start fixing up our headquarters like Karol's wanted since we bought it five months ago. He's even got the old man to join in his cause. I think their goal is to annoy me into doing it."

Flynn snickers and they arrive at the castle, and the guards at the doors pay them no mind as they push them open. This job doesn't always pay but it pays for this, to not be given suspicious glances every time he comes near. Yuri either, though Flynn would bet that a good number of people would like to toss him in jail (again) just for being himself. Yuri's a good guy and a (very reluctant) hero but that doesn't mean that he doesn't deserve some (or a little more than some, if Flynn has to be completely honest) of the enmity he gets around here. "I'm sure that if you asked, she'd front the costs for something like that."

Yuri won't ask, he knows, but it's too much fun to not mess with him a little.

"Oh come on, Flynn, you know I can't ask her to do something like that. She'd actually do it and then _I_ would owe _her_!" Yuri throws his best playful glare at the blond as they turn down the hall towards the military offices, but falls silent for the rest of the short trek to Flynn's office. He hadn't seen Flynn's new office since they refurbished the military halls after Alexei took over and forced chaos upon the city in the form of over grown plants and berserk monsters. The castle looked about as good as the buildings in the Lower Quarter did on a good day; and that wasn't saying much. After everything had cooled down, both Estelle and Ioder decided that fixing up the city first was more important than fixing up the castle so things were only just getting finished up.

Rocking on the balls of his feet as he waits for his friend to unlock the large oak door to his office, Yuri nods to a passing knight who only reciprocates with a glare. Yeah, he still didn't have many friends in the castle and that probably wasn't going to change anytime soon.

Hearing the key click, Yuri takes a quick sharp breath. Sure, now he's starting to feel the tension in his chest. He had been doing so well keeping it at bay. He prepared for this; the entire way from Dahngrest he had rehearsed what he was going to say over and over. What he was going to say and _how_ he was going to say it all. He wouldn't be angry, he wouldn't be scared, he wouldn't be too detailed or too vague.

He really didn't want to do this.

The door swings open and Yuri whistles as he takes a step inside to look around the newly refurbished room. He raises an eyebrow at Flynn who's standing next to a closet large enough to fit double of everything Yuri owned in it.

"What is your definition of not big?"

His eyes go from the double bay windows across the three consecutive (completely full) bookshelves, only to fall on the large oak desk that could sit four people comfortably. He eyes the disturbingly large pile of papers at the end of the desk and cracks a grin as he points to it.

"Though I suppose _this_ is the reason for the giant dining room table posing as your desk?"

Flynn groans and resists the urge to drop his forehead into his palm.

Not here, not while the door's open and someone could walk by and see. So he closes the door, problem solved.

_Then_ he drops his forehead into his palm.

"It's a hell of a lot more paperwork, that's for sure." Flynn doesn't go into the details because that will lead to a rambling rant that will likely go on until they need to eat again, and since they're in the Upper Quarter, Yuri'll want to eat somewhere expensive. Not that it much matters, but he needs to complain anyway because he can and it's his duty as Long Suffering Best Friend. It's expected of him.

He considers sitting down but decides against it, settling instead with his hip resting against the edge of bookcase.

"So, what's going on?"

Leave it to Flynn to get right to the point. Yuri crosses his arms over his chest and leans casually against the edge of the desk, crossing one foot in front of the other while still trying to keep a nonchalant air around him (which he knew he was failing miserably at doing). It was now or never; he had come all this way to get this over with. So it would stop keeping him up at night. So it would stop making him worry about Flynn. So it would stop him from drowning in this lie he had been living in since it happened.

His voice lowers and his eyes narrow as he looks directly at Flynn, something that took all his might to do. "We...need to talk about something."

Ok, admittedly not the most eloquent way to start off the conversation, but Yuri suddenly finds himself panicking. He didn't want to do this to his best friend. He didn't want to hurt him or make him angry and that is exactly what he had traveled all the way from Dahngrest to do.

Flynn goes a little bit cold, because there's still something inside him that's screaming _wrong, wrong, wrong._ He knows Yuri (a little too well, sometimes) and the guy's got his tells and right now he's showing all of them. He doesn't want to know what can make Yuri scared like this, and what it would have to do with him.

"Oh, dear. Is this our breakup talk?" he asks with a flippant, anxious laugh. Flynn locks a knee behind him and wants Yuri to laugh along, joke like he wants. If he can joke, it means that Flynn's wrong and Flynn so very desperately wants to be wrong.

Nothing ever goes well when Yuri sounds this serious.

Yuri for his part makes it very obvious he is not in the mood to joke. He starts playing along now and he'll never muster up the courage for this conversation again. Lips pursed, he takes a deep breath before starting slowly.

"Do you remember the days after Zaude?" He pauses a moment and continues before Flynn can answer with a 'you're joking, right?', "You told me you had looked for me for a week before you had to call it quits. Before you sent everyone off to move on; to do what they needed to do, to keep working towards fixing things with the Adephagos."

Oh, does Flynn remember.

"Yeah, of course I do; how could I forget? I only had the entire blasted military looking for you."

Not only had Flynn been terrified of Yuri's death (and then furious, and then resigned, and then angry again) but those days were the first most of his men had ever seen of his own bad temper, and they'd been tiptoeing around him for months afterwards. He remembers how he couldn't settle down and how Estelle worked herself into the ground day and night until he and Judith tag-teamed her into stopping. _Guilted_, he remembers with a flinch because it might have well been what Yuri would have wanted had he actually been dead, but it was what it was and Flynn can't deny playing off of Estelle's sense of shame a little if it will keep her safe.

"Seriously, Yuri, I'm worried now. Tell me what's going on."

Waving a casual hand in the air as if shooing away a fly, Yuri has to look away from Flynn as his stomach rolls into a knot. He feels like he's going to be sick; maybe he should have eaten a lighter lunch.

"Well, when we finally met up again, I…I might not have told you the entire story. I told you I fell and was out of it for a little from being banged up a bit." He looks back at his friend; nothing readable on his face. "I lied, Flynn. I _should_ have died and I came damn close to doing so."

He can't help but flinch as he watches Flynn go pale, but still, so far so good. Flynn hasn't punched him and he hasn't let any of the thickening emotion inside him stir things up…yet. Both were still very likely to happen.

The sick cold that's made its home in Flynn's gut stirs. He feels a little bit lightheaded, as if he's on a mountaintop instead of his office in the capital. He takes a breath that's too shallow and that does absolutely nothing for him.

The blonde commandant takes a step forward, another, and then another until he's standing in front of his friend. They're about the same height, though Yuri's a little taller by a hair and Flynn's got more muscle to him.

"Are you..." he begins and then changes his mind, "Why are you telling me this? Quit being cryptic, you bastard." He rakes a hand through his hair and wishes that they were fighting instead of talking.

He's always had an instinct for change, an instinct for the big things coming.

Something's coming.

"I'm telling you this because I can't keep it a secret anymore." Yuri says in that deep tone he only uses when he's beyond serious. "I'm tired of having this hanging over my head and I'm tired of worrying about what could happen if I kept this to myself. Worried about what could happen to you."

Taking a deep breath Yuri closes his eyes for a second. He was not going to puke all over his best friend's brand new office. That would be embarrassing, not to mention it would just add to the list of reasons that Flynn was about to throw him out the window. He had promised himself he wouldn't get worked up over this. He wasn't going to let it over take him like it had so many times since it happened. A reoccurring nightmare here or there, a faint twinge to remind him that he wasn't all whole anymore; just a simple slip of the memory and the Yuri Lowell who always had everything together would nearly fall apart.

Seeing the blonde's cheeks flush, Yuri pushes back against the desk to try and widen the space between him and the commandant. Dammit, Flynn could be intimidating without even trying. "Flynn, just…"

No, no more beating around the bush. Just get this over with.

"I wasn't lying about falling off the shrine. That happened and its true, I wasn't able to tell anyone I was okay until Estelle found me a week later, but it was no accident that I took that free fall in the first place."

Flynn's eyes narrow further. "Alexei?"

"No." Yuri shakes his head. He wishes it was that easy of an answer. "I wasn't pushed, but I still had help finding the edge. I— ugh."

Running a hand through his hair Yuri lets out an exasperated sigh. So much for the words he had rehearsed. His mind was running so fast he didn't know where to go next. Should he start from the beginning or just jump to the point?

_Oh, to hell with this._

Reaching down Yuri gathers the bottom hem of his shirt and lifts it up to just above his hips and turns to his left to face the sun. He turns his head and stares out the window as he hears his friend move in closer with a clink of armor. Again, not the most articulate way to tell Flynn, but it would have just as much of an impact as his words would have; and with this he wouldn't have to worry about that shaking in his body to come out in his voice right away.

Flynn leans forward and looks, and sees a scar unlike the normal scuffs that he already knows and the scrape of monster claws. This one isn't white with age, not yet, still pink and raised and deep. Flynn's stomach roils.

That's a stab wound, he knows too well, and finds himself unable to look away from it.

Yuri sure as hell didn't get that from the building.

That's new.

Dragging in a breath, Flynn reaches out a hand and brushes the scar with his fingertips too gently to hurt. Yuri flinches anyway. It's been healed, he knows; Yuri moves too well for it to be anything otherwise, but it might still ache. Flynn suddenly wonders who did the healing; it's been done well, probably a master. Estelle?

"Who did this to you, Yuri?" Flynn doesn't ask so much as demands, and the worry turns to the beginnings of a righteous rage. This is wrong. This is wrong. This is _wrong_.

Yuri flinches as Flynn's fingers brush across his side. "Damn, your hands are cold!"

"Yuri!" Flynn says quickly, severely. His blue eyes snap up to meet dark ones. The commandant's finished joking. "_Who_?"

"Do the math, Flynn!" Yuri says, much angrier than he intends as he lets his shirt fall out of his hands, back down despite the fact that Flynn was still inspecting the scar. "How many people did you have to rescue off of that roof? Eight, right? One dead ex-commandant, a princess, three guild members, a mage, Repede, and-"

Yuri lowers his voice so that all the fury is out of it; Flynn didn't need to hear that. Not here, not now, not when this was going to tear his best friend apart. "And Captain Sodia."

Flynn doesn't want to believe it. His hand drops and he realizes, distantly, like it's not a part of him, that he's beginning to tremble. He doesn't want to believe it.

This can't be right.

He trusts Sodia. He cares about Sodia. She's his friend and his comrade and someone whose never let him down, always supportive and loyal and there. She's always supported him and his ideas and methods, an ally that he could always count on. That she could possibly do something like this...it's almost unthinkable.

He raises his head and looks Yuri in the eyes; the other man is all too serious, without a drop of mirth or hint that this is a horrible joke.

This is a joke, it has to be. Yuri will crack a smirk and say he's kidding, and Flynn will rip him a new one for scaring him like this.

Except that it's not a joke at all and no one's laughing, especially not Flynn. His jaw aches from clenching his teeth. Everything is so sharp, the lights, the sounds. He can see the nervous twitching of Yuri's hands.

"You're going to tell me how this happened. Right here. Right now." Flynn's voice doesn't sound like his. It sounds far away and like someone he doesn't know, because his best friend and brother has been hurt by someone Flynn trusts. Indirectly, this is on him. "Talk."

With a simple nod Yuri straightens his posture, pushing himself off of the desk despite his pounding heart making his head spin. He had to be strong doing this and not only for himself. If Flynn sees how much this rattles him it would only make this whole thing worse.

A sudden calm overtakes Yuri and his voice deepens again as he starts recapping his story in a practiced rhythm.

"After our battle with Alexei we realized that, with the Adephagos free, the Apatheia that was keeping the barrier up was going to come down. Everything was crumbling and the blastia was dropping fast." Seeing Flynn raise an eyebrow, he throws his hands up to stop his friend before he can say anything. "I know you've heard this part before, but just bear with me. Alexei was a lost cause, I ran and the blastia fell right on top of him, but in doing so I got separated from the rest of the group. Everyone figured that's when I fell off of the roof and I stood by that assumption because it was an easy excuse, but…it wasn't the truth."

And then it all comes crashing back to him, sweeping away the calm he had found like the fury of a tidal wave washing away a beach. All his thoughts come back; how he had thought a thousand things in the thirty seconds before consciousness had left him. That he was going to die before he had reached his goals, before the world could be saved. That he had been done in by the hands of someone that would be standing by his best friend's side playing the part of an honorable person. How Estelle would be so disappointed in him and that Karol would raise their guild to fame without him. He thought about how he hadn't nearly punished Raven enough for trying to throw away his life and about how much Judy had changed since he had first met her. Hell, he had even thought about Rita and how she would smack him a good one for hurting Estelle and everyone.

He had thought about the way he had submitted to his death the second his feet left the platform. The way he had been so confused at the initial shock of pain; thinking that it was still Flynn before his eyes fell onto red hair and green eyes. How he had woken up back in his room so incredibly confused and pained and, well, alone.

He had faced death before; quite a few times to date, but he always had his friends right there. When he was in the knights he had Flynn, his unit and his captain backing him up. When they almost died in the Sands of Kogor, he'd had Estelle, Karol, Judy…everyone was _there_, but on top of Zaude he had been alone. Sure, his group hadn't been very far away; just on the other side of the largest apatheia he had ever seen, but he couldn't see them or hear them. They couldn't hear his shout of surprise and he knew they would have no idea what had happened to him. It had scared him more than anything.

Realizing that all his mental preparation on the trip from Dahngrest was useless, Yuri clenches his fists. He is losing this battle with his memories and emotions. There's no denying that he had been kidding himself when he thought he was okay with it all. He was great at covering this stuff up. He could talk about Zaude and what happened in its lie form like he was at an informal dinner party, but now that he was trying to spill the truth, it felt like he was going to tear apart at the seams.

Becoming aware that he's let a stretch of silence stand a little too long, Yuri takes a small breath and continues, "By the time I had picked myself up and figured what was happening I realized I had been separated, but then I heard armor and I thought maybe you had somehow made it up to the roof. I turned around and before I could even see who it was there was a dagger in my stomach." Pausing, dark eyes fall to stare at shaking hands. Yuri's voice quiets, usually unheard emotion melts through every word; all resolve lost. "She pulled back and there was the sound of metal hitting the floor, but all I could register was that I was falling through the air. That's the last I remember before I woke up in the Lower Quarter a week later. When Estelle had met up with me here I had only just woken up about a half hour before. She healed me, but I never showed her the entirety of my injuries. Probably why that scar is so damn noticeable."

Flynn can't take another word, not one more. He moves, taking a final step forward and burying his hands in Yuri's collar and dragging him close until their noses touch.

He's gone white as a sheet except for two matching spots of color high on his cheekbones, and his nostrils flare.

"How _could_ you?" he snarls, unsure of who exactly he's more angry at right now. He gives Yuri a couple of short shakes and wishes it were simpler and that they could just duke it out in the training yard like they always do when someone's angry. But that won't help, not with this. "How could you just stay quiet about this? How _dare_ you stay quiet about this?" Flynn hears his voice pitch but he doesn't try and stop it; anyone who hears him now deserves to. "What the hell, Yuri?! Were you trying to be kind and spare me from something, when you're the one who almost-" he drags his eyes away from the scar, "Spirits. Do you think it doesn't matter?!"

Flynn wants to throw something.

Yuri thought that it was him. For a split second, he thought that it was Flynn sending a knife into him and the thought cuts him just like a dagger. Yuri thought that Flynn had done it. It didn't matter how long that thought had lasted or how soon he was able to look up and see that it wasn't; for that moment, Yuri must have been sure that it been Flynn who had done him in.

Flynn's angry and hurt and seething with something that tastes like guilt.

He hates that it fits, he hates that it's _true_. It can't be anything but true, not the way the timing works, not the way that Yuri's skin doesn't lie to him (unlike everyone else, apparently), and the way that he knows, for the first time (why couldn't he see sooner?) that the one person in the knights that he could trust to have his back hated someone enough to do this.

Hates someone who's saved _Flynn_ more times than he can count enough to try and kill him.

And then lie about it.

No, Flynn thinks, not lying. Worse than lying. She didn't lie, she said _nothing_. She looked him in the eyes and knew exactly what she'd done, and didn't say a word.

And Yuri _let_ her.

Yuri lets his friend shake him and doesn't try to push away or back up or interrupt. He knows he deserves the full front of Flynn's anger. Hell, Yuri was angry with himself. He just tore everything Flynn knew about himself and someone he trusts dearly apart and spat it in his face in every negative way possible.

While Sodia was never on top of his own friends list he knows that she's someone Flynn really cares about. She was his assistant, loyal companion, and brace during his pilgrimage, during the whole Adephagos ordeal for that matter. She had been through things and seen things with him that Yuri hadn't and through those experiences he saw them form a deep bond; not only as commander and soldier, but as friends. He respects that and the last thing he wants to do is shatter it. But he can't ignore what happened any longer.

He wasn't doing this because she tried to kill him. Honestly, he doesn't really blame her for it; he's not exactly an endearing person. Plus she didn't meet him at his most personable moments. He can't blame her for disliking him. In fact, at first he found that resolve to be admirable. She cared about Flynn enough to try and kill him so that he wouldn't taint Flynn's reputation. It showed Yuri a fierce loyalty that he was all too familiar with, but after time had passed and he thought about it. He watched her in the months when the world was picking itself back up from the brink of destruction that he began to realize that he made a very bad judgment call. He still couldn't blame her for the attempt; never would.

What he can blame her for is lying to Flynn and that is exactly why he came here. He had given her a chance to talk about it with Flynn; to take up the role he was leaving vacant for her and she didn't take it. She whisked away her actions under the bed to be forgotten about and never uncovered. If she was angry enough to try and kill him and then _lie_ about it to Flynn, who's to say she won't turn on him one day? Who's to say she won't turn around and start doing things behind his back and keep lying about it all after she's had so much practice? She could become everything Flynn was fighting so hard to eliminate. Yuri realized she could become just like him and that was the last thing Flynn needed by his side. Yuri had tried to isolate himself as much as he could from Flynn, but there was no getting away. Sodia wouldn't need an excuse to leave; she could stand by his side and damage everything Flynn had worked for so easily. Yuri was not about to let that happen, no matter the cost.

He waits until he is sure the commandant is finished rag dolling him for the moment before talking. "The next time I saw you, things were hectic and I know that's not an excuse. I_ know_, Flynn." Yuri hears his voice waver with a sudden rush of anger. He doesn't know where it comes from, but he can't stop it either. "I wanted to tell you. Do you think I didn't want retribution? But at that time I didn't deserve it and she deserved the chance to make things right for herself. I decided to give her the chance to confess, but it wasn't because I was being nice or anything. I wanted her to talk to you; to become the person I could never be; to be the positive light at your side, instead of my… damaging reputation. I have to be honest; she cares about you enough to try and get me out of the picture so I would stop holding you back. That's not something you can find in many people, especially in knights, but I also thought she was loyal enough to make things right in the end. To not lie to you or hide things behind your back. So I kept my mouth shut hoping she would do the right thing." He closes his eyes and lets out a hollow snort. "And I honestly thought she would. I thought she respected you enough, but apparently, I was wrong."

Reaching up Yuri takes Flynn's hand into his own and pries the white knuckled fingers from his collar. "I guess I'm not as good at judging people's characters as I thought."

"You- You stupid _moron_," Flynn sputters but doesn't pull his hand away, instead giving a twist of the wrist and squeezing. Now that he knows, it's even worse, because he's always taken Yuri's warmth and heartbeat for granted and that was almost taken from him.

It makes him sick and only makes the itch under his skin worse.

The words aren't enough to take away the rage but they're enough to defuse him enough to the point that he's not seeing spots on the edges of his vision.

Now he's just cold.

The anger he feels towards Yuri burns hot and violent and Flynn's not sure now whether he wants to hug him or throw him out a window.

He hugs him now and saves tossing him out a window for later, ignoring Yuri's grunt of surprise.

"You stupid, stupid moron."

He pulls away and tries to gather himself to rights, straightening hair that's been mussed by anxious hands. He imagines taking everything that he thought he knew, imagines it laying out on the floor, and imagines sweeping it up into a box. It's how he deals with a lot of things and it's how he deals with being angry at Yuri now, because if he's burning hot he won't be able to do properly what he has to do now.

Satisfied with his own appearance of composure, Flynn walks around to the other side of his desk, taking his sword and attaching it to his belt as well as trading his normal commandant's jacket for the more formal ceremonial one, the one with all the shiny bells and whistles that he doesn't really care about. He doesn't like wearing it; it's too stuffy and reminds him of all the things he never liked about the Empire.

It's too shiny for him, too tight and too strong and screams rank in a way he doesn't like.

It's what he needs right now.

"Stay here," he orders. "Just-stay here. Or go. I don't know. I need to deal with something."

The pomp and shine are exactly what he needs, more effective than any shield.

Awkward hugging over with, Yuri watches as his friend puts on his jacket and finds himself suddenly staring at the floor. He knows what Flynn's going to do and it rattles him to the core. He is the reason Flynn is so angry and confused and hurt right now. He is going to be the reason that an honestly good knight is about to face judgment for a crime he can't really blame her for.

But she already betrayed Flynn once and he wasn't going to let her do it again. Even if it meant him tasting this guilt like ferric blood for the next year; he did what he needed to do and at this point, there was no taking it back.

Yuri clenches his jaw to bite back his initial thoughts and settles on nodding slowly as the commandant straightens out his belt.

"For what it's worth, I _am_ sorry, Flynn. I really didn't want things to turn out this way. I made a mistake in covering this up and waiting far too long to tell you." He stands up straight and opens the door putting a hand in the air. "We'll talk more later, I'm returning to the Lower Quarter."

_And hiding._

"Yeah," Flynn manages, "We'll talk later."

For a while after he's left alone, all he can do is breathe. He's never had to do this. All this time, he's thought that if he was going to have a serious problem with someone, it would be a higher up and in his experience so far, that's how it's been. Flynn's prided himself on getting to know the people under his command, to know them as people as well as soldiers. He thought they would believe, as he believes, in the change he wants to make. He's never had to do this and he doesn't want to.

That he has to do this now to Sodia, a friend, a knight, an almost-captain, hurts like he could have never imagined.

He can't think with that now, though, not with hurt. That's not what a leader does. What she did hurts on a personal level, yes. Spirits, yes.

That's not all, though.

She's lied to her commander, attempted murder on a civilian, and all for...honestly, Flynn doesn't even know why. He can't even fathom the reason she must have thought she had to doing such a thing.

But he'll find out, though. It won't change the outcome or his mind, but maybe if he knows _why_, it'll hurt less.

He's waited too long already to do what he needs to do and his office isn't getting any smaller and he's not getting any more confident the longer he waits, just more upset.

It's with those thoughts that Flynn exits his office and walks through the halls and outside into the sunlight. He knows where she is at this time of day, and he's not cruel enough to do this if there's an audience in the training yards.

* * *

Sodia knows long before she turns around that the commandant is coming. It starts with the newer recruits freezing dead in the middle of their practice swings and follows with them flailing in place, unsure of whether they should stand at attention or salute or just run away. They look to her for guidance and she has to suppress a chuckle remembering how she felt the same way when she was first training. When she had first met Commandant Alexei and when she had first met Flynn.

Usually Flynn comes into the yard and watches for a little. Then he'll comment, give pointers, and help out soldiers as he crosses back and forth. He would even spare with them from time to time. It was something she truly admired him for; Alexei never took the time to watch trainee's practice, let alone teach them himself. Flynn cared enough to get to know those he commanded; it was what had drawn her to him in the first place. Waving to the trainees to continue with their practice she turns to face the only entrance and exit to the training ground and freezes.

She doesn't need any orders to know what Flynn wants. He stands at the gate, not a step further and waits for her to start walking across the courtyard before turning on his heel and marching away, his right hand resting on the hilt of his sword. His blue eyes are fiercer than she has ever seen them and the last time he was decked out in his ceremonial attire was at the treaty signing with the newly reformed Guild Union. He hates that jacket with a passion and never wears it unless he absolutely _needs_ to.

This did not bode well. Flynn was fuming.

Flynn never gets _angry_. She's seen him grumpy, annoyed perhaps, but never flat out angry. The most she had ever seen of his temper was during the Adephagos ordeal when he was dealing with his 'friend', Yuri Lowell's, death. Well, not so death, but they didn't know that at the time. That had been infuriating to watch in itself. Flynn had nearly torn himself up over it all and that raven haired guildite didn't deserve an ounce of any of her commander's time or emotion.

Watching him from behind, Sodia's innards slowly begin twisting into knots and a shiver rests at the bottom of her spine, waiting. Perhaps angry was being nice; his shoulders were tense and his steps were stiff, his free hand is clenched in a fist that is so tight it looks painful. No, he's not just mad, Commandant Scifo is livid.

The worst part is that she looks so confused, following after him after snapping off a quick salute. Like she has no idea why he might be angry. Flynn walks until he can only barely hear the shouts of the recruits and the clatter of their practice. If he's played his cards right (and he has, this time, he has to have), they'll be out of earshot and even if they weren't, their noise would cover up any words of his.

Flynn Scifo has no intention of shouting.

He doesn't need to, not for this.

"Sodia," he begins, barely managing to keep from flinching when the girl watches him attentively, trying to gauge what he could want from her. So many times, that attentiveness had saved lives. Now he's going to have to ruin hers. "You've been under my command for a while, now. You've always shown loyalty to me and to my causes. You've been a friend and a comrade and I would never take that back." He looks her in the eyes and holds steady. "But I need you to be honest with me now."

He pauses and finds the space to breathe.

Oh, he's angry. He hurts too but right now, it's everything he has to keep the rage out of his voice, to keep his fisted hand from trembling, to keep from _screaming_. He sounds calm, so calm, and he wonders when he learned to do that. Flynn doesn't do stone-cold, doesn't do stoic, doesn't do the hard edges and biting words that others manage with ease, but he does now.

"The night Zaude fell and the Adephagos was released...tell me what happened." Flynn releases his grip on his sword and lets both arms rest at his sides.

And then he waits, silent and absolutely still.

Sodia can't hide her shock at the question. Why was he asking about this all of a sudden? The incident at Zaude happened almost a year ago now and all the details and experiences there have already been summed up and stored away in the archives. Well, almost all of them.

The knots in her stomach suddenly tighten and Sodia feels a lump in her throat. Flynn had lunch with Yuri today; he couldn't be asking about… no Yuri said he wasn't going to tell Flynn. He had left it up to her and she made her choice. It was the right choice— Flynn didn't need to know what happened up on Zaude. It would only confuse him and hurt him. She kept quiet so he didn't have to worry; because he would. He would worry about Yuri more than anything; if his friend was still injured, if he had any lingering feeling about the incident. Then he would worry about her. Worry if he had done anything to drive her actions and he would feel guilty for making her angry enough to try and kill Yuri. Then he would have to choose between her and Yuri and he would not choose her. She wasn't going to put that over him. She wasn't going to force him to make such a choice. It wasn't the right thing for a friend to do. Yuri knew this, which is why he never told Flynn.

But Sodia doesn't know if that's what the commandant was referring to right now. It was unlikely, she told herself. She may hate Yuri Lowell with every fiber of her being, but she still knows him well enough to know he keeps his word when he gives it.

"_I'm not going to tell anyone."_ He had said with that look in his eyes; the look that screamed of plots and revenge, but also honesty and resolve. _"But don't think I'm letting you get away with this." _

Seeing that she was making Flynn wait, Sodia stands at attention straight up, arms rigid at her sides, voice neutral and hardened with a military beat. "After you had been injured I followed the princess' group and former Commandant Alexei up to the roof. I arrived at the very end of their battle together and saw Yuri Lowell engaging Alexei alone while Alexei was activating the system on Zaude to release the Adephagos. I admit that I hesitated when the shrine activated and the apatheia in the air came down. Alexei was killed instantly and the princess' group scattered to avoid the debris. Once the dust settled I made sure everyone was all right before trying to formulate a plan for getting off of the roof since the fallen blastia had damaged the lift mechanism. There were no injuries to the civilians, but Yuri Lowell had gone missing."

Sodia looks over the commandant trying to read him. She has become very good at picking out his tells and signs, but right now she couldn't see anything. He was completely still, completely stoic, and completely unreadable. It is something she's never seen from Flynn before and it is making her tremble slightly. He is every bit of a commandant right now and no part her dear friend and comrade. What's he looking for?

Flynn wants to sigh but doesn't. He's giving her the chance, right now, one chance to not betray his trust more than she already has. There's a good part of him that still wants for this to be a horrible joke but that's Flynn Scifo the friend, not Flynn Scifo the commandant.

Behind the ice, Flynn's begging her not to lie.

He's not the kind of guy who sets traps and it makes him feel like the lowest of the low to be boxing Sodia slowly into a corner, but he wants the truth. Even if it's a truth he doesn't want, a truth that shakes him down to his bones and breaks everything he thought he knew, he wants that over a pretty, diplomatic lie. He wants to hear it from her, and he'd have rather heard it from her instead of Yuri, not almost a year after the fact. A year late, a year that Flynn hasn't known a thing, a year he's had to do something but hasn't had the chance because he hasn't had a clue.

Even serious, Flynn never feels this cold. He's boxed up all the hurt and lets the anger freeze him straight to his core instead. He continues to watch Sodia and she looks nervous now. More than nervous, she looks _scared_. And honestly, she ought to be.

He knows and she knows that he knows and Flynn wants the runaround to be over already, to close the trap and say what he means.

_Please, stop lying._

It won't change the outcome but he desperately, desperately wants her to take the chance he's offering.

Flynn closes his eyes and breathes through his nose and when he opens them again, he looks Sodia straight in the eyes and says, so steady that it hurts,

"Please, Sodia. The truth."

_Please don't tell me that I was wrong about everything. Please._

That's when it hits her with the force of a hurricane. The words she had ready on her tongue are blown away and she feels as if her feet have left the solid ground. Her surroundings crash to the earth and she see nothing but the commandant's stone cold eyes and her life getting washed down the street to the sewers.

_He knows. Yuri lied to me and Flynn knows. Oh god…he…he _knows.

Panic, fear, anger, hopelessness, sadness, betrayal, confusion, hurt, guilt; Sodia doesn't know what she's feeling most. She takes quick short breaths, but no air is filing her lungs. Bile rises to the back of her throat and her vision blurs. It was over.

It was all over and it was all Yuri Lowell's fault. He had waited just long enough for her to get comfortable and told Flynn to get his revenge on her. Now Flynn thinks she is a criminal and he is going to hate her and resent ever knowing her. This whole conversation was a trap; it was Flynn standing on a pedestal to get the truth. How could he? He never used his rank before; but here he was decked out in his flashy jacket and his ceremonial sword clipped to his belt to intimidate her. To show her that she was nothing to him.

She sees red now; just like she had that day on Zaude. That was the truth behind it all. She watched Flynn go down after taking that shot to the shoulder (through and through) for Yuri. He had jumped in front of his friend without hesitation knocking him to the side and then had the gall to ask him if he was all right. He was bleeding everywhere and Sodia couldn't take it anymore.

Yuri had run off, leaving Flynn to bleed, to die, and went after Alexei. Yuri didn't care about Flynn at all. All he had cared about at that moment was getting Alexei. So she went after Yuri. In that moment she had decided she was going to get rid of him so that he couldn't abuse and betray Flynn anymore. So that Flynn would stop putting his faith and hope and life in the hands of a criminal.

Forgetting who was standing in front of her, Sodia balls her hands into fists tight enough for her fingernails to cut her palms. Her words hiss out between clenched teeth, dripping with venom. "Yuri Lowell, this is your entire fault."

And at that moment, Flynn doesn't recognize her. He doesn't see his friend anymore, the person who's stood by his side for so long. The rage he sees on Sodia's face is, honestly, a little bit frightening and it makes him wonder how he'd missed it. How could she possess such a rage, rage like this that he'd never seen before? The expression on her face is furious and toxic like poison itself.

It makes him a little bit sick to see it.

"…Yuri's fault?" Flynn asks quietly. He can't stand still anymore and breaks his stance to do a slow, almost predatory circle around her. He hates this uniform. "Yuri's fault. I see."

Flynn forces himself to remain relaxed and not fidget in that shiny jacket or roll his shoulders or show any of those nervous tics that he knew would give him away. A commander couldn't afford sentiment or nerves.

"Do you have anything at all to say in your defense? If you do, I'll hear it now."

Sodia's breathing picks up to the point where she is almost hyperventilating. As Flynn starts to circle her eyes dash back and forth, trying to figure out what he is doing. Where he is going. Flynn doesn't understand. He doesn't know how bad Yuri is for him. He doesn't realize that being friends with a petty delinquent like that ruins his great person. She has to tell him; make him see reason for what she tried to do.

"He's a murderer, sir! He's openly confessed it to you and he has no remorse over it! Yuri Lowell has tainted his hands with blood and heaven only knows what else!" White hot rage takes over and Sodia starts to shake all over, her eyes brimming with tears. She is practically screaming, but her voice sounds so distant. "He has this...way with you. You change whenever he's around! You ask different questions, take time to listen to things you usually wouldn't. You start to think differently and act differently and you don't pay any attention to anyone but him!

"Whenever he is around he's all you worry about and you take his opinions over everyone else's. It's...it's not fair! Yuri Lowell is an insignificant criminal and doesn't deserve a minute of your time so I thought that if he...if he died you wouldn't have to be so worried all the time. That once he was gone you would see how much better your life would be. He isn't your friend at all, sir. That day at Zaude, you took a hit for him and he ran off, leaving you to die! He didn't even ask if you were all right but instead ran off after Alexei to be the hero. He is just using you to get away with his crimes. So I tried to kill him. For you! So you wouldn't be so torn between what is right and what is wrong. As knights it is our duty to get rid of the scum and dishonesty that walk our streets. Yuri Lowell is just that! I was doing my duty as a knight of this great empire and as a friend to you!

"I...I hated him so much. I-" She snaps her head up to where Flynn is slowly walking to her left and she stares him dead in the eye with nothing but loathing. "I still do. He lived and he is _living free_. I thought you were fighting to stop crime to stop corruption and here he is...a murderer walking out on the streets!"

This time Flynn's grip tightens on the hilt of his sword. His hands shake and his gloved knuckles burn white, but he still doesn't yell. "And does taking the actions you chose to take make you any different from him?"

Sodia freezes. She doesn't breathe, she stops shaking, and she falls to her knees.

And Flynn's heart breaks.

Not with pity, not this time, but shame and a fair amount of disgust not just for her actions but for it taking this long to _see_. He recoils through the entirety of her speech and wonders how he missed this, because this isn't something that comes out of nowhere and for no reason. She's hated like this for a long time, that much is obvious, and he didn't see it at all.

It takes everything he has to say, professionally and without emotion,

"Jealousy, Sodia?"

Flynn doesn't shout or yell and he doesn't raise his voice an inch. Every word is even and calm and almost gentle, like the eye of the summer storms. He watches her, watches the tears and the fear and the hatred that he can see in her so suddenly now. He watches her drop to the ground without a drop of sympathy, despite it all.

Why did it have to take Yuri almost dying to get him to see it?

Why did it take so _long_?

"I was shot through the shoulder," he says, remembering the wound with clarity. It hurt then but not nearly as much as this does now. "I wasn't going to die. Had Yuri not gone after the former commandant, I would have never forgiven him for it. He knew that, Sodia. He knew I wasn't going to die. He knew that there were plenty of people who could stem the bleeding. But there was no one else who could take out Alexei; I was in no condition to go after him and Yuri knew it. I knew it. He didn't wrong me; that was how I _wanted_ it."

Flynn refuses to feel pity, refuses to feel bad. He will, later, bad but not guilty, but that's for other times and other places.

"You are an Imperial knight, not a vigilante," he says, watching her without emotion, "It is your job and your duty and should be your pleasure to do well by the people and for the people. I can see, now, that you cannot do that as you are. What next? Had you succeeded, would you decide that killing Yuri wasn't enough? What else might you do to avenge me? I can't trust you any more, not you and certainly not your blade."

The noise from the yards quiets slightly and Flynn waits until it revs back up to continue. He cannot be kind right now but he will not be cruel in excess if he can help it. There was a time where he might have shown a tiny bit of sympathy. Now is not that time.

"If I can't trust you and I can't trust your sword, what can I trust? Your misguided vendetta has brought you here and now it's on me to deal with it. What am I to do with you?"

It's a rhetorical question more than anything at this point but it doesn't make it easier to say. The cold fire in his stomach helps, though, helps numb everything else and lets him be angry just the way he wants instead of being sad.

"One more question, if it's all the same. Just one more." He uses up the rest of what he feels for her to close his eyes and breathe. His blue eyes are stone cold when they open again. "You have all of my attention now. Was it worth it?"

"How can you ask that?! I did a terrible thing and then I lied to you about it and in the end it was all for nothing!" She says angrily. Taking broken gasps of air, the captain wipes her eyes but continues staring at the floor. Formality be damned, at that moment she lets what little is left of her resolve wash away. It might not have been worth it at this moment, but she still doesn't feel any regret for what she did.

"W...when I saw him again I was furious and terrified. He smiled at me and didn't yell or challenge me or try to get revenge. He just said he was going to keep his mouth shut and that I should decide what was right."

_He also called me worthless_. Which, now that she thinks about it, he's right. She is worthless. She can't even help Flynn see what is right and wrong. Flynn only sees her on the same level as Yuri now; she was a criminal who tried to take the law into her own hands. Why could he get away with it and not her?

She knows what's coming, but her mind is racing and she doesn't want to hear it. "I...I was only thinking about you and the people! He was...is a danger to the people! He was escorting our _Princess_ around and he runs a guild and is a high member in the Guild Union. What if his guild becomes like Leviathan's Claw or the Blood Alliance? A threat to the public well being? He...he had to be stopped and... I thought I could do it. I was wrong...I was so, so wrong. So to answer your question _sir_, no. No it was _not_ worth it."

She's stalling and she knows it. She's at the breaking point and Flynn's next words will be the grain of rice to tip the scales. She stands up slowly, hanging her head low and unbuckles her sword from her belt. Taking it in two hands she lays its blade across her palms and holds it out and up as she bends down on one knee.

He is going to kill Yuri for this. They talked about it? They _talked_ about it.

Spirits, they would.

Somehow, that's almost (but not quite) worse than the fact that it happened and no one thought that he ought to know about it.

Underneath the sudden spike of fury directed in Yuri's direction (again), Flynn can't help but be the slightest bit relieved when she holds out her sword to him, head lowered and subordinate.

She knows what he has to do and won't fight him on it and that makes air come easier. He's seen his superiors take stripes and ranks from those under the command and he's seen them later, talking about how they'd enjoyed doing it, how they'd enjoyed taking someone down a few pegs. Flynn doesn't enjoy it at all. Maybe it would be easier if it were someone he didn't care so much for, someone he didn't like.

Then again, he can't see himself enjoying doing this to anyone under _his_ command.

"I don't think I need to say much more," he says quietly, "Thank you for making this as easy as it can be."

Reaching out a hand, Flynn takes the offered blade from Sodia's outstretched hands.

"I, Flynn Scifo, Commandant of the Imperial Knights, strip you of all rank and military titles you possess and hereby eject you from the Knights." The words are official and straight from the script and even though Sodia knows they're coming, she can't suppress her flinch. "I want you to know," Flynn continues, suddenly breaking protocol, "This isn't _my_ personal vendetta. This isn't about Yuri as my friend and how I'm upset that you injured him. He's frustrating and I'm sure that he didn't endear himself to you, but he was still a citizen under your protection, even as a guild member under both the treaty and my command. This is no more and no less than any other superior would do."

Sodia gives a low and entirely unhappy laugh under her breath, head still bowed.

"I think, sir," she tells him quietly, shakily, "That even now you're being kinder than any other commander. You forget that I've seen the same things you have. Better to be dismissed than to be killed."

"There has been enough killing," Flynn attaches Sodia's sword to his other hip and steps back, settling into parade rest, "On your feet. Official policy gives you until sundown to remove anything of yours from the castle."

Sodia stands, still trembling and turns around unable to look her ex-commander in the eyes. Her voice returns to somewhat normal and her words are nothing but sincere. "I know that apologies won't do anything, but I will never forget what you've taught me, sir."

And with that she walks away, eyes red, nose running, and throat raw. Her head hangs and her fists are clenched, but her steps are steady and unwavering. She knows what she has to do. She knows where she has to go, sort of. This wasn't over; not by a long shot. She no longer has a job or a home or any idea of how she is going to get by from here on out, but she will figure it out.

And after she has done so, she'll do what she can to keep living for her own ideals. For the ideals she wants to see come to light in this world; the ones she has created for herself and the ones that she adopted from Flynn. Her work was not over.

She knows the commandant is still standing there in the shadowed corner of the courtyard staring after her, she can feel his gaze. Angry and sad.

_Look, _she thinks, _Look at what I have done to you. Look at what you have done to me. Look at what Yuri did to both of us._

She doesn't return to the castle, to her room to gather her things, she doesn't need them anymore. She steps off royal grounds heading down the tiered streets. Not left or right, just down.

And with that Flynn is alone.

He's done what he had to to the letter. Nobody died and it went as well as it could have, but he doesn't feel any better.

He doesn't feel better but he does feel different.

Clean.

To be entirely honest, he's still quite miserable. He's still angry and he's just lost someone he thought of as a friend and he _still_ wants to toss Yuri out a window for keeping all of this from him, and if he wasn't in full dress uniform right now, he might be tempted to hit the local tavern and drink away some of the stress. That never helped anyone, though and it certainly won't help Flynn now. He can live with himself, though.

Flynn won't have to look at Yuri anymore and feel sick, even though he owes him a punch or two for this whole thing. He won't have to wonder whether he handled it the way he should have. He can go to sleep tonight knowing that he did exactly what he thought was right.

He doesn't move an inch until he's sure that he can get back to the castle without seeing anyone. He'll write up the proper documentation but that doesn't mean he wants to explain himself to everyone he sees, to talk about it like he's talking about the weather. It's no one's business but his own and he wants the time to pull himself together before heading down to the Lower Quarter and giving Yuri yet another piece of his mind.

Of course, with his luck this means that he's seconds away from his office when he sees Estelle walking down the hallway with her nose buried in a book. Flynn doesn't know how she does that without running into everything but somehow she manages. Quite well, actually.

Not only does she manage to not walk into the walls, but she looks up as if she can sense him and approaches, seeing him standing by his door.

"Oh!" she says and makes note of her page before shutting her book, "Flynn, hello." She looks him over, green eyes narrowing just enough to make it clear that he's not entirely himself and she knows it. "...are you alright? You don't look like you feel well."

Crap.

Of course. Of course she would round the corner at the end of the hall just as his key was slipping into the lock of his office and of course she would take that very second to look up and spot him. Not that it was particularly difficult to see him with his bright hair and the shiny coat on. It was just his luck.

No, it was more like _Yuri's_ luck, his bad luck that Flynn swears is contagious the way a cold is. All he has to do is be around his best friend for an hour, or less, and suddenly he finds himself in situations that he would usually say "This would only happen to Yuri". He wonders how Brave Vesperia manages to handle it. How on earth did they save the entire world and not die with Yuri's impeccable, horrible, ironic luck?

As Estelle's usual perkiness turns immediately into concern Flynn isn't quite sure what to say. He probably looks about as terrible as he feels. He knows she will find out about Sodia eventually and about the conversation with Yuri, but he doesn't want to go into it right now. He can't handle it; she'll get upset as well and he's already ruined one person's day. But he knows the princess has an uncanny ability to tell when something's amiss even if he looks perfectly normal. It's almost disconcerting, but Estelle is too endearing for it to be taken as anything but simple worry for a friend. She wasn't going to leave him alone unless he gave her a very good distraction. He doesn't have much time to think of one.

Opening the door to his office Flynn puts on his best smile and tries to add a little beat to his voice. "I'm fine, Lady Estellise. It has just been a long day."

A _very, very_ long day and it was hardly two o'clock. Looking down at the book in her hands the commandant makes an attempt to change the subject. "What are you reading about today?"

Not the best attempt at a distraction, but maybe it will give him the time he needs before she starts drilling him and he can't lie to her so he will have to tell about everything that happened and he'll lose what little resolve he has left to face the last couple hours of this day without breaking something.

Flynn looks...well, miserable is really the only word for it. He does an okay job of hiding it, but Estelle's spent too long of a time trying (and mostly failing) to decipher cryptic people (mostly Judy) to be done in by Flynn who's not all that good compared to most people but especially not compared to the likes of Judith and Raven.

Still, he looks as if he could use a distraction and she's more than willing to bite if it might make him feel better. He's not fooling anyone.

Estelle holds up her book.

"It's something I found earlier today in the library," she tells him, showing the cover. "It's about guild mechanics." She smiles. "I thought that if it was interesting, I might see if Yuri might want to take a look at it. Not that I think he's doing a bad job or anything!" she backpedals, smoothing down her skirt with her free hand, "I think he and Karol are doing a wonderful job with Brave Vesperia! He just, um, might find it a good read, you know?"

Estelle looks him up and down, still nowhere near convinced of his okay-status as he'd like her to believe and she realizes that he's wearing the nice jacket, the one with the sparkly buttons and stripes of rank and various medals. That's weird, Flynn _hates_ his dress uniform. He certainly doesn't try very hard to hide it and even if he did, he'd be quite bad at it.

She reaches out a hand and tweaks one of the adornments on his shoulder, taking the opportunity to give him an affectionate pat before pulling back.

"Why are you wearing your dress uniform?" she asks, "I haven't actually seen you in it since the signing of the treaty between the empire and the guilds. You and Yuri both seem to have an allergy to dressing up."

_Dammit_. The curse of being friends with observant people; Flynn can't get away with anything. He had almost, _almost_, forgotten he was wearing it. With a small sigh Flynn steps into his office and holds open the door for Estelle to follow. He doesn't answer right away as he takes the jacket off and walks to his closet to hang it back up. Once it is in its proper place, in the darkest most back corner of the giant wardrobe, he works on his belt and his sword.

"I had to take care of some official business which required looking at least a little bit the part of a commandant." He says, not lying, because he can't lie to Estelle; ever. But at the same time he is not entirely telling the truth; which hurts him. He is doing to her what Yuri had done to him, but maybe this way he can kind of get a feeling for what Yuri had to go through.

Even though it is nothing like what Yuri had to go through because he lied to everyone. He lied with words and his actions. He hid his feelings and his pain.

Flynn freezes mentally as a thought strikes him like lightning. Oh…oh no he couldn't, he shouldn't. It would be mean of him; which is exactly why he was going to do it. Because Yuri deserves it and Flynn still needs to distract Estelle so he can compose himself a little more before giving Yuri what he really deserves.

Perhaps he didn't need to toss Yuri out a window exactly, but there were other forms of payback he could dish out.

Flynn puts his ceremonial sword onto its wooden mount and looks over his shoulder at the princess as casually as he can. "Speaking of Yuri, did you know he is in town for a few days? I had lunch with him today."

Green eyes blink and Estelle watches Flynn exchange his jacket for his normal one and set the sword upon its perch. The extra at his hip (why's he carrying two? That is a question that she puts on her mental list of things to bring up when Flynn feels better.) gets leaned up behind the desk.

Innocuous, as if he doesn't want to look at it.

"No, I didn't know that," Estelle replies with the unconscious beginnings of a smile on her lips. She knows that Yuri has other things to do than sit around Zaphias and twiddle his thumbs (_bad_ things happen when Yuri has time to twiddle), but that doesn't mean that she can't be excited when he does come back. She has her own things to do these days but she always misses him when he's gone. "Do you think he would be too busy to see me? I know he has a lot to do, but if he isn't, I'll go pay him a visit."

It's a lot of work running a steadily growing guild and it's a lot of work putting a shattered kingdom back together, but she can do it and Yuri can do it and still have time to socialize. It's more than she expects, really.

Said visit may have absolutely nothing at all to do with the book she's holding, but no one else needs to know that.

Mostly, she just wants to see him and catch up.

Not to mention that she can finally wander around the Lower Quarter without starting a stampede. Aside from her usual duties up at the castle, Estelle makes sure to do regular visits and walkabouts through the rest of Zaphias, to talk to the people and make sure that everything is running smoothly as best it can, see what else can be done. It was miserable at first, starting from scratch without blastia, and Estelle wouldn't have been able to do anything without the support of those leaders, like Hanks, who stood behind her and Ioder to lend their support and aid.

It's gratifying to put the city first and Estelle doesn't mind the bits of damage she can see around the castle, because that means that what's important had already been fixed. A city is its people, after all.

She fixes Flynn with a smile.

"I'm guessing he's likely down in the Lower Quarter? Repede too, I hope."

Flynn nods, the smiling tugging at the corners of his mouth not entirely forced this time. Yuri was going to hate him for this, but that's perfectly fine with him. Yuri deserves it. End of story. He'll say an apology later; to Estelle for getting her wrapped up in this, but he still won't feel guilty about it. Not on Yuri's behalf at least.

Yuri needed this, not just to get an idea about how angry Flynn is at him, but to see the true extent of his actions. He didn't just lie to Flynn; he lied to everyone else; including Estelle. Especially Estelle.

Oh, she is not going to be happy.

Flynn flicks a glance at the door to make sure it is shut and then looks at Estelle. "You know he always has time for you. It's been a while since you've seen him right since you missed his last visit here a couple months ago?"

He stops then, leaning against his desk looking purposefully thoughtful. Flynn might be bad at lying when it came to things about him and his feelings, but oh he knew how to put on an act when it came to plotting against Yuri. He frowns as he puts a hand to his chin and furrows his eyebrows; staring way too intently at the floor.

Estelle cocks her head to the side curious at his sudden change in demeanor. "Flynn, is something wrong?"

Flynn lets the silence stretch for as long as he can before the princess starts fidgeting in place and he finally looks up at her and starts fake reluctantly. "Well, it might have just been my imagination, but he was a little off today. Quiet. He made the journey from Dahngrest all by himself this time and perhaps he's just tired from the journey, but I think he was hiding something from me. An injury, maybe?"

The smile slips off of Estelle's face like wet paint. Immediately, the book gets dropped on top of Flynn's desk right on top of his paper pile, forgotten entirely.

"Oh...oh no. Is he alright? Was he attacked by a monster?"

Unconsciously, she tangles her hands in the fabric at her hips and tugs a little. It's a nervous tell of hers.

"Please tell me he saw a healer- oh, who am I kidding? Of course he hasn't seen a healer." The only people who've ever regularly healed him were Raven, Karol, and…herself. So no, if he was injured, he wouldn't have seen anyone for it. She steps around to the other side of the desk to stand in front of Flynn and reaches out to touch his forearm. "I need to go see him, right now."

She had originally been planning on attending the opening of one of the museums in the Middle Quarter, but that simply doesn't keep any sway when it comes to stubborn Yuri, who now for all she knows could be lying in a ditch somewhere. With his luck?

Estelle knows better than to doubt.

Flynn flinches inwardly, he knows Yuri deserves every bit of what's about to happen to him, but he does feel a bit guilty about tangling Estelle up in his revenge. He never likes to see her worry, but that was impossible to avoid when it came to the subject of someone's health; especially the subject of Yuri's health.

Guilt aside he can't help but feel a little bit accomplished. Not only was Yuri going to get karma smacked, but he can now have a couple more minutes to himself. He needs to be alone right now.

To try and take away a little bit of Estelle's tension he takes her hand and holds it firmly. "I don't think it's too serious, he was just...stiff. He's definitely in the Lower Quarter, probably at his usual spot by the river.

Watching the princess whirl around and make her way to the door hastily he adds quickly. "Just look for Repede, I'm sure he is with him and if not he can lead you to him." _I wonder where Repede was at lunch today…_

Estelle nods and Flynn walks across the office to hold open the door for her. "I will come down after I've finished up a few things here. Don't let him get away."

Estelle turns before she leaves and ducks into a hurried curtsy of thanks.

"Thank you for telling me!" She calls back and flings up a hand in a wave without waiting to see Flynn wave back.

She'll realize, later, that she forgot her book and didn't even close the door behind her but for now she can't even think about that. All she can think about is Yuri in pain and that shifts into memories from other battles, where the only thing that's kept body parts attached was her healing and she never wants to see something like that again.

Ever.

So Estelle full on sprints through the corridors, ignoring the greetings and exclamations of surprise from the guards she passes in the halls, heading straight for the Lower Quarter.


	2. Chapter 2

Sodia has only the clothes on her back, the boots on her feet, and the nondescript knife at her belt that looks nothing like the one she dropped on the roof of Zaude. It looks nothing like the other one, the standard issue blade of the knights, because it makes her feel physically ill to look at it.

She only looks back once, when she's far enough away that she doesn't think Flynn will be watching anymore. She's right and what she sees leaves her hurting even more than she already is.

Her commander (former commander, she tells herself) is standing where she left him but has dropped his face into his hands, all appearance of storm and fury gone, replaced with a pain she feels as acutely as her own. She's hurt him unspeakably, she knows, and being expelled from the knights is the least Flynn could have done to her.

He could have had her arrested, he could have her tried in court, he could have her killed outright. That he didn't is a kindness that she knows she doesn't deserve, and she knows that he won't talk or gossip about her, that he won't tell the men under his command stories about her to prove a point.

Sodia doesn't know where she's going to live, what she's going to do.

She'll probably leave the city entirely, find a new place, find a new purpose.

But first she has to pay a visit to the Lower Quarter. She has to find Yuri Lowell and at the very least, find out why.

Yuri was glad to see no one hanging around his typical spot where he likes to sit on the bank to the river and think. Where he likes to sit and ponder. Sit and just be alone. Sometimes people will wander by and usually they will stop and talk to him, but so far today no one has paid him much mind and he is ever grateful for it. They could definitely tell he was not in the best mood. They could probably see his hanging head, his distant eyes, and the way Repede sat atypically closer to him than usual.

He had left the dog behind during his lunch with Flynn and he had really regretted it. He needed to have someone else there in Flynn's office and while Repede wasn't a human he was still a better person than most people are. Certainly his best friend next to Flynn.

He had half a mind to grab his bag from his room (kept clean and vacant just in case he randomly dropped by) and leave Zaphias. He had done what he came to do and he had done enough damage for the time being. He could leave, return to Dahngrest, do some work for the guild (maybe start fixing up their headquarters) and then return in a little when tempers had settled and everyone had had time to think things through.

But then Yuri imagined making it back to Dahngrest, to his new home, going to bed and waking up to find Flynn standing over him; that icy glare of his ready to throw him out his second story window. Yuri has done enough free falling in to last him a lifetime; he didn't want to do anymore if he could avoid it. So he found Repede and came to his spot hoping to toss some of his guilt into the raging water that was sweeping by under his feet.

He felt so, so guilty; he hurt Flynn deeply. He was angry at himself; he had let things rattle him more than he had intended to. He never came here for himself. He didn't come to get revenge or make himself feel better. This had been about Flynn, about making sure his best friend wasn't going to get more seriously hurt later on. This had been about righting what he had done wrong.

And he had. He knew the truth had to come out at some point, but it didn't make things suck any less at the moment.

_Not sure anything can make things suck any more at least._

Yuri stops mid-thought as he gets that sinking feeling you get when something or someone is watching you. He tries to ignore it until Repede shifts next to him and turns and hunches over to begin growling ever so slightly.

Yuri doesn't need to turn around to see who is standing only a couple feet behind him. "What do you want, Sodia?"

Sodia finds Yuri easily, sitting in front of the murky river that runs through the Lower Quarter. He has the dog with him, who notices her immediately and starts growling seconds later. She crosses her arms over her chest and waits until Yuri turns around. He doesn't look surprised to see her, even disheveled and red around the eyes with scuffs of dirt on her knees from where she dropped earlier and her hair coming loose from its braid.

Good.

"I came here to ask you something," she tells him, and spreads her hands out wide at his wary expression. "I have nothing, Yuri Lowell." She means it in every sense of the word. "No need to look so suspicious." She steps closer to the river's edge but stops at a good distance. "Go ahead and look, then." She shifts the top of her uniform to show off the lack of stripes on her uniform and her belt, lacking a sword. "Are you happy?"

The dog continues to growl a low rumble from his throat and Sodia ignores him.

"I'm just here to ask a question," she continues. "Then I'll be out of your hair."

And do what, she doesn't know. Likely nothing of importance, but there's a whole world out there. Surely there has to be something. She'll do what she has to and forge what she has to. That's what Flynn taught her and after all she's done to him (because she still hates Yuri Lowell with an intensity that scares her right down to her bones), the least she can do is follow his lessons.

"Why did you wait until now to tell?"

There are more but that's the one that sums them all up, the one that keeps her focused on not screaming right there in the street.

Yuri turns back to stare at the water and lets a hollow laugh rise through his tightened vocal cords. "You have got to be kidding me. You came all the way down here to ask that? You really are worthless, aren't you?"

He stands up now. She deserves at least that much of his respect; it won't be in his words because he has nothing nice to say to her, but maybe he can convey something through his actions. He turns to her and puts a hand on his hip, looking her dead in the eyes. "Time ran out, Sodia. I never told you I was going to keep my mouth shut forever. I never told you that you were going to walk away from what you did with easily cleaned hands. I told you that I was giving you a chance and I did."

_I gave you longer than I should have at that._

Sodia opens her mouth to respond but Yuri cuts in. "I gave you a chance and you didn't take it. I said that I was waiting for someone to come in and take the spot next to him that I could never fill. To be the friend that I can never be; you had that opportunity. You could have been everything Flynn needed to be the greatest commandant this kingdom has ever seen, but you let it all slip away when you lied to him."

Sodia had actually been feeling….well, not better in the least, but more grounded. Less hysterical, less out of control, less like a hurricane and more like a downpour. She had thought that she could keep that composure and stay grounded. She'd just been rejected by the one person she respected in the entire world, even more than herself, how could it get much worse?

She should know better than to think that.

It always gets worse.

All of that composure flies out the window when Yuri starts to speak, and all that control she thought she had disappears in the wake of it.

Absently, she glances down and realizes that her fists are clenching at her sides.

Violet eyes shine with that same hatred that makes her burn with both power and shame.

"You call me worthless?" she spits, suddenly trembling, "You say you gave me a _chance_? When you're the worthless criminal who couldn't even make it as a knight? When you're the one that everyone hurts and bleeds for every time?" she snorts out a laugh, hurting and furious and losing her grip.

She doesn't know what it is about this man. From the get-go, she's hated him. Even knowing that Flynn trusts him isn't enough to calm that, and irritation morphed to anger morphed to rage morphed to the strange and foreign hatred she feels for him, that sets her every hair on end and her blood boil. No one else in the world makes her feel this way, like she's not herself at all.

"Well, you've won now," Her laughter goes high and borders that knife edge of hysteria she wanted to avoid, "You got what you wanted, I guess. Not a knight anymore."

She can't keep back the grin, just a little bit manic, and feels the telltale feeling of tears building up behind her eyes.

She's already killed Yuri Lowell once. She's just lost everything, maybe she can do it again. And then she almost immediately flinches. What's she become? What's _wrong_ with her? She hates herself even more for the very thought. But there it is.

Sodia reaches into her belt and unhooks the knife from her belt, watches as Yuri goes completely still. She fingers it for several seconds before whipping her hand back and flinging the blade into the river, watching it sink with a splash. It's all she had, and now she's thrown that away too.

She realizes that what she did was wrong. She hates that she hurt Flynn, that she forced him to do what he did. She knows and understands that. That doesn't mean that she feels bad for what she did. Sodia knows that it was wrong, that she didn't mean to do it, that it was an _idiotic_ thing to do in every way. That doesn't mean that she regrets it.

For the first time, Sodia realizes what it means to regret without remorse and to do wrong without guilt.

Yuri blinks and takes a second to glance at the water behind him; as if to make sure the knife was really gone. His heart was pounding; he had honestly frozen when she reached for the dagger.

That look in her eyes; it reminded him of himself and that shook him to the core. He can hear the resolve and resentment and complete lack of guilt in her words in the same tone he has spoken in so many times. When he's determined, when he's seeing nothing but red and white in the corners of his eyes.

And suddenly he saw a bit of himself in her. He could become the very thing that stood in front of him. He too could turn into a person so driven by loyalty and anger and guilt that it warps them into seeing ideals that aren't real; ideals that are not humane. In a way, he had already become that person. He's murdered. He's had blood on his hands. He's found himself in that moment where nothing makes sense but a single thought in his mind. Good or bad as it may be.

It was wrong and he knew it. He became that person so others wouldn't have too. He had never meant to drive someone else into the very thing he resented about himself.

She had finally found the resolve he was pushing her to find and it was a resolve that lead her down all the wrong paths. He knew she hated him, but this…was completely different. Completely new. Sodia had gained something (or lost something if Yuri was looking at it realistically) and now she wasn't the same person from Zaude.

_She's…snapped._ He realizes suddenly.

Yuri feels his eyes widen and he finds himself shaking his head. "You think I _wanted_ this to happen? No. I never wanted any of this for you or for me." He takes a deep breath trying to find the right words. It was going to be hard for him to get through to her. He had to be careful with what he was about to say.

But at the same time he had to tell her why he had done it. She deserves that. He was going to be honest; even if it hurt her.

"I made a mistake." He starts out slowly. "I should have told Flynn about you right after it happened. I should have told everyone the truth about what happened up there, but at that time I couldn't bring myself to do it. Everyone was worried about other things; about the Adephagos, the empire and the guilds, the future. Flynn was single handedly trying to pick up the pieces Alexei had broken and thrown all over the world. You were supposed to be the person to take my place next to him. I can't be a knight; I don't have the willpower or the resolve. I'm weak in everything that you have.

"But after things settled down. After I watched you standing next to him at the treaty signing, at commencement ceremonies and funerals I saw that I had been wrong. Flynn has worked his entire life to get rid of liars and the twisted minded people; those who are both like and unlike me. By lying to Flynn you started down the path of becoming exactly what he is fighting so hard to eliminate. If killing me hadn't been enough, what would have?"

He stops now to give her a chance to talk, but she just stands there, waiting. So he continues.

"I came back here today to tell Flynn that I made a bad judgment call because I believe in fixing my mistakes. In righting what I have done wrong. You did not right your wrongs, Sodia."

Sodia stops the words that are seconds away from spilling out of her, all the poison and hate that just make her hate herself more than she already does.

Flynn said the same thing, she remembers. Sodia remembers every word from that horrible conversation. Flynn can't trust her. Yuri can't trust her to not hurt Flynn. In the end it's all for him and she can't even fault him for it.

"How dare you," she finally grits out between clenched teeth, "How dare you lecture me? Do you think you have any room to talk? Any room to say a word?" the more she speaks the louder she gets until her voice pitches upwards and she drags it back down. "You're right about one thing, though," Sodia says and the tears finally come again, hot and angry, "I'm not worthy to be by Flynn's side. I've dirtied my hands for him for nothing and that's something that will never go away. I do know that much."

Sodia tilts her body to face the sun and pretends that it can burn away the moisture on her cheeks.

"Yuri Lowell, you—" she starts and can't finish, instead scrubbing a hand fiercely across her eyes.

She'll never return to Zaphias after this.

She'll never see Flynn again.

Sodia turns away from the sun, away from Yuri, and starts walking without a backwards glance towards the gate out of the Lower Quarter, leaving Yuri standing stock still. She doesn't watch him sink back down to the ground. She has nothing, she knows, and somehow the very thought is more freeing than anything could be.

As he takes up his seat again, a leg dangling over the edge to the river, Yuri isn't entirely sure he knows what just transpired. He's seen people in various stages of emotion; heart breaking, angry, raw emotion…but Sodia had shown him something completely new and he couldn't help but feel that part of it was his doing.

_Or most of _it.

Repede takes up his seat next to him and lies down with a sigh and a small 'womph' of air.

"Heh, you got that right, Repede. This day just keeps getting better and better." Laying a hand on top of blue fur he ruffles Repede's hair and scratches behind his ears letting out his own frustrated sigh. "She was right, you know. I don't have any room to talk. I should learn when to keep my mouth shut, might save me and other people a whole lotta trouble later on."

* * *

Estelle doesn't think about where she's going.

The afternoon sun is warm on her face when she steps out of the castle, because no one would ever dare try and lock her back up again. The Upper Quarter's nowhere near as bustling as the Middle or the Lower but somehow she finds herself taking all the back routes that Yuri showed her to avoid people because she doesn't want to stop or get wrapped up in anything else.

She does slow, just a little bit, through the Lower Quarter, just long enough to say hello to Hanks. He seconds Flynn's words and informs her that Yuri's down by the river, because he assumes correctly that she's looking for him.

"Thank you, Hanks!" she calls behind her and heads down to the river.

It doesn't take her long to find him; Yuri's in his usual spot.

"Yuri—" she cuts herself off because Yuri's not alone, and Estelle ducks behind a wall without thinking about it.

Sodia? What's Sodia doing here? There's never been any love lost between her and Yuri (to say the absolute least) and it certainly doesn't look or sound like they're starting a friendship right now. She can't hear what they say until Sodia raises her voice. They're arguing, or…something. Sodia turns and Estelle finds her attention drawn to…

There's no sword at her hip.

Estelle remembers Flynn and the haunted look on his face and a sword that wasn't his leaning up his desk that he didn't want to look at. Now there's Yuri looking upset like she's never seen. And Sodia.

Estelle remains hidden until Yuri's seated and wonders why her heart's pounding so hard, like she's just witnessed something really important that she doesn't quite understand. She doesn't mean to eavesdrop and it's probably better that she hid instead of risking catching their attention by finding another place, but she still feels a little bad about it.

Flynn said that he was injured, Estelle reminds herself, and approaches.

"Yuri?" she asks. She doesn't feel the need to raise her voice; she knows that Yuri will hear her.

Yuri practically jumps at the sound of his name and his jolt of shock causes Repede to bolt up beside him. They both spot Estelle at the same time and Yuri's jaw drops as Repede lets out a yawn and lays back down. He had recognized her voice, but it still startled him. He wasn't expecting Estelle to show up out of the blue like this. How did she even know he was in town?

_Well that's a stupid question_.

Of course she would show up. She would show up while he was still rattled from his conversation with Flynn and _of course_ she would appear after Sodia decides to come make him eat his own words (and scare him a bit). As he stands up he can't help but cast an eye roll up at the blue sky.

_Seriously, Fate_?

Turning just as Estelle reaches him, he looks down at her with the best smile he can muster, but he can still feel the corners of his lips threatening to twitch downwards.

"Hey you, what are you doing down here? I was going to come by later and-" and he freezes as she immediately starts looking him over in a panicked fluster he was all too used to seeing. "Hey, hey Estelle. What's going on? I'm not hurt or anything."

Estelle pauses in her scrutiny and glances up sharply when Yuri says that he's not hurt.

"That's not what Flynn said," she says without hesitating, "He told me you were injured. I got worried, so… You should come straight to me when you get hurt." Her hands brush his shoulders and she doesn't pull away. He's solid and warm under her fingers, just as he should be, and she can't see any bandages anywhere and he doesn't flinch like he hurts, but...

Still.

Flynn wouldn't tell her such a thing without a reason, would he?

Yuri's upset, that much is more than obvious. It doesn't take a genius to see it. It's obvious in the way that he smiles like it's the last thing he wants to do, like it's for her benefit and not his. It wouldn't be the first time and she hates it just the same every time he does it.

Yuri takes both of her busy hands and holds them in one of his and puts his free hand to his face. "Flynn said that huh?" He lets out a short, frustrated sigh. "I should have seen this coming, that bastard."

He had already been surprised when Flynn _didn't_ give him a black eye, but he should have known that Flynn wasn't letting him get away _this _easily. But telling Estelle that he was hurt? That was low…even for Flynn.

Giving Estelle her hands back he takes a couple steps away and sits back down to dangle his legs over the ledge, just above the quickly flowing brown water. Repede looks up at him, suddenly curious about the change in his master's voice.

Yuri puts a hand next to Repede's dagger hilt and looks up at Estelle. "I promise you I'm not hurt, Estelle."

Estelle doesn't look convinced in the least. She taps a foot and her small hands curl into fists. "Then why would Flynn tell me that? He wouldn't just play that kind of joke on me Yuri."

Quite suddenly Yuri realizes what Flynn's true intentions are. He wasn't getting out of this without giving the princess an explanation, without admitting to the lies he told her. Great, just what he needed: to recount the tale he never wanted to recount in the first place, one more time.

_Dammit, Flynn, I'm going to kill you_.

Even though Yuri knew he totally deserves this. He just wasn't in the mood right now. He felt bad enough already; he knew he was hurting Flynn not only by forcing him to see the betrayal of one of his best friends, but for being a part of that betrayal himself.

Telling Flynn had been one thing, telling Estelle is going to be completely different. She was more sensitive about these things not to mention he had lied to her first and foremost before seeing anyone else. In fact, he had made up his lie while she was trying to heal him that night they reunited.

And now he felt like he was going to be sick again.

Yuri knows that telling Estelle is going to be much harder than telling Flynn. It had taken him a long time to get up the courage to tell his best friend in the first place, but Estelle is a whole new level. This he was not prepared for. He should be; he should have expected this confrontation coming to Zaphias, but he had been so focused on the whole Sodia thing, telling Estelle hadn't really crossed his mind.

_Crap, this day sucks._

Yuri's change in demeanor doesn't go unnoticed to her, not a bit. He's suddenly tense and anxious in a way that can't simply stem from annoyance or long-suffering resignation. Not to mention that he's not moving like he's hurt, but Flynn... he _told_ her. Why would he lie? He wouldn't just do that to her on a whim, not when he knows that she puts so much of herself into the well-being of the people she loves.

He wouldn't do this to her if there wasn't anything more to it.

Estelle tugs off her gloves and joins Yuri at the edge of the river and sits down next to him, ignoring the scuffs of brown that show up on the white of her dress.

Estelle reaches out once more for him but instead of touching like a healer she touches like a friend, sidling a little closer to take his hand in hers. She gives it a squeeze and his fingers curl around hers, warm and familiar.

Flynn's upset, she remembers. Yuri's upset too. She doesn't believe in coincidences anymore, not after everything they've been through, and there's something in this. She just doesn't know what it is, but she doesn't like seeing him hurting.

And he's hurting now, even if it might not be physical.

Estelle tries to put the pieces together but it's not coming out right. Flynn, who's anxious and wearing his dress uniform that he hates so much and carrying a sword that's not his. Sodia, who just left like she's never coming back. And now Yuri, who doesn't want to so much as look at her, who looks so very unlike himself right now that it's not funny. She keeps adding two and two and coming up with three. There's something missing from this equation, something very important.

"Yuri..." she begins eventually, then pauses to begin again, looking worriedly up at him, "What's wrong?"

_Sodia stabbed me last year on the top of Zaude and I lied to you and Flynn and everyone about it so I decided to wait an eon and come back today to tell Flynn and ruin Sodia's life and now I get to tell you._

Oh, does he wish it was that easy to explain. Yuri hesitates before letting out a long winded breath. "I had to tell Flynn something this afternoon that I never wanted to tell him. That I thought I wouldn't ever _have_ to tell him." Yuri closes his eyes and raises his face to the sun. "I hurt him and it didn't exactly bring up good memories for myself."

_No, stop. This isn't about you_. This is about Flynn and Estelle. It's about Karol, Raven, Judy, and Rita.

Yuri puts a hand to his face and shakes his head. "Something happened awhile ago and I made a bad judgment call."

Estelle gives his hand another squeeze and shifts to lace her fingers with his.

"I don't know what it is you had to tell him," she says finally, "But I know that if you hurt him, it was because you had to or because something else would hurt worse." She knows this like she knows the sun rises, because Yuri and Flynn have their problems but more than anything, they're so close and they care about each other more than anything. If Yuri hurt him, it was because he felt he had to, of this Estelle has no doubts.

Sometimes, people don't understand why Yuri does the things he does. Sometimes _she_ doesn't know why he does the things he does.

There aren't really any platitudes she can give him and he wouldn't want them anyway. It's clear that he feels bad and nothing she can say can take that away, especially not without her knowing what happened. And _oh_, she wants to know. She wants to know very badly.

But he hurts and the last thing she wants to do is make it worse. But she doesn't know how to make it better, or even if she can.

Estelle leans a little bit closer until their sides brush in wordless support.

"I wish that I could heal your heart as well as your body."

Yuri lets out a small snort. "I don't deserve that right now."

He doesn't need to look at Estelle to know that she was now completely confused. He is going to have to tell her. He has done enough lying...enough hurting. If she didn't hear it from him she would hear it from Flynn and that would hurt more. Just like hearing about Sodia from someone other than Yuri would have hurt Flynn more. It was just as Estelle said. He's doing this because it's the right thing to do; even if it's the last thing he wanted to do. Besides, if he didn't, Estelle would spend the rest of the day, weekend (until he found the gall to tell her), wondering about what had happened.

He takes a minute to think before turning to her and starting slowly, the same way he had with Flynn and it's easier this time. Partially because he has already done this once already, but also because as hard as it was to tell Flynn he was glad, if not a little relieved, to have it off his chest. That was one down, six to go (well five because Repede isn't stupid and probably figured it out months ago). This would be another step in the _right_ direction. Not the wrong one.

"Do you remember the days after Zaude? After you returned to Zaphias and we ran into each other just up the street from here near my room." She nods and he looks away, but continues. "You had healed me after I told you I was sore from falling. I showed you the wounds on my arms and the broken ribs."

Estelle remembers well. She remembers a constant fear and a cold chunk of ice sitting in her stomach for that entire time. She remembers looking for him right after the battle, and when she says right after she means for three days straight without resting, until she drops to the ground and doesn't get up. She remembers digging through rubble and searching through water, of ignoring everything (including trivialities like food and sleep and everyone's words) in favor of ceaselessly searching, of being scolded by Judy and of hitting her breaking point and screaming at Flynn right there in front of everyone only to apologize and start crying seconds later.

She remembers the trip back with Repede, the combination of hope and despair that nearly takes her over until there's nothing but pure relief when she sees Yuri stagger around the corner, half-dead but not quite. She remembers being so happy that she hadn't even gone to the castle first before checking his home in the Lower Quarter. She remembers healing him, healing the cuts and bruises that he showed her, knitting bone and muscle back together.

So yes, she remembers. To say she doesn't is an insult of the highest caliber.

She thinks all of this but only says, simply,

"Yes, of course I do."

How could she ever forget?

Yuri nods as he continues to stare into the water under their feet. It had been a stupid question (and Estelle had answered it as gracefully as he expected), but asking it gives him the time he needs to formulate the words he is going to use next.

"The story I had told you, the same one I told to Flynn and everyone else, was a lie. Those bruises I showed you were only part of the story."

He felt her grip around his fingers loosen up a bit and he grasps at her slender hand tightly; silently begging her not to let go. He knew that telling Estelle about Sodia wasn't going to be as heart breaking to her as it had been to Flynn, but he had still lied to her. To make it worse he had lied to her about one of the subjects she was always the most serious about; someone else's health.

Guilt starts to tug at his spine and Yuri mentally shakes himself, trying to keep it down. He remembers a conversation he had with Raven a few weeks after Zaude; one night over a dying campfire when he couldn't sleep and the old man was on watch duty. Raven had told him about their searches for him; how Estelle had pushed herself further than anyone thought a human could possibly go. About how even Rita looked between researching the shrine and Judy took Ba'ul over miles and miles of ocean and coast. That he and Karol would go out on the ships with Flynn until Raven had a talk with the commandant about maybe moving on in a fashion that Yuri would approve of.

They had done everything in their power to try and find him. Save him. And then he lied to them.

_I'm kind of a terrible person aren't I?_

Repede shifts and sits up staring at him curiously. He was just as interested as Estelle was. After taking a couple breaths Yuri slowly recounts the events at Zaude the same way he had earlier that afternoon; from the blastia falling, to him hearing armor, and then feeling the air rush past him before he couldn't remember anything else.

And when he is finished he keeps talking. He doesn't know why, but he can't seem to stop himself. He tells Estelle about his discussion with Sodia after that massive monster battle and how he watched Sodia change over time and how his rationale for waiting dwindled to the point where he couldn't take it anymore. He even told her about his journey from Dahngrest and how he had practiced what he was going to say to Flynn, but that's where he stops. He wasn't going to tell her about his conversation with Flynn or the most recent one with Sodia; that wasn't for him to talk about. Not right now at least.

Realizing he has been talking for a good twenty minutes Yuri looks over to his friend, trying to show every ounce of sincerity that he can."I'm sorry I lied to you, Estelle, but at the time I felt like it was what I had to do."

For a good three minutes after Yuri finally goes quiet, all Estelle can do is hold his hand and sit next to him to let the information sink in. She listens to every word, takes it all in and adds it in to what she already knows… and doesn't like what comes out of it. He...Yuri almost died. He almost _died_ and she wasn't there to help him. He was up there on that building by all by himself, dying at the hands of a knight, a _loyal_knight, and no one had been there to help him.

She feels his grip tighten and she gives a squeeze in return.

She won't let him go.

"Yuri..." she says when she can and when the lump in her throat doesn't make her hurt, "That must have...you must have been so scared." She doesn't pity him, she respects him and cares for him far too much to ever pity him, but her heart aches for him anyway.

A part of her can't help but be more than a little angry _at_ him for keeping this from her but those feelings are kept at bay thanks to the sympathy, for now. Actually, she's quite angry at him, but that can wait for at least a little while. She takes no satisfaction kicking a man when he's already down. Then there's the rest of her that _is_ unashamedly angry, at the fact that a knight, a knight loyal to _Flynn _of all people, would dare to-

Estelle drags in a breath and realizes that she's shaking. She steadies herself and gathers her composure before she asks, quietly,

"May I see it?"

It's a question that isn't a question so much as it is a demand, steel wrapped up in velvet.

She feels like the biggest idiot for not seeing, for not checking, for not—she can't believe that he would hide that from her. She doesn't like to think that he would but it's clear that he did and it's a thought that makes her seethe with an anger she doesn't recognize.

Yuri knew she was going to ask (well insist is a better word for it), but he still grimaces at the question (demand). He nods curtly before pulling his hand from hers and lifting his shirt. Next to him he feels Repede shift and let out a small whine as he reveals the pink scar in the sunlight, way too bright against his pale skin.

It's a mark he has gotten used to at this point. He barely notices it when he catches himself in the mirror and he is alone, but when other people are around, Yuri could almost call himself paranoid. He had always worried about someone spotting it by mistake when he was trying to hide it. If he was honest with himself he had been more worried about someone seeing it rather than someone seeing him react to pain from it. It was always easier to make up an excuse for a random ache rather than a blatant blemish on his skin.

When their journey was still going on he had made sure he bathed by himself; that when he changed his clothes or washed them no one was looking his direction and when they were at the onsen he wrapped his towel up on his hips just a little too high so no one could see. He carried a spare shirt around (if it could be called a shirt; it was a ratty, dingy, nasty piece of cloth that he would throw on and get made fun of for) and wore it if the one he was wearing got dirty, torn, or wet.

It had been exhausting trying to cover it up. Almost more exhausting than trying to cover up the pains he felt from it time after time.

While Estelle had healed the wound well enough it still ached for a long time after. Every once and awhile the scar would itch or send a small twinge across his stomach and he couldn't do much to cover up his initial flinch or hand twitch reactions.

Repede lets out an indignant huff and Yuri looks over at him. "I know Repede, I never told you either, but you figured it out pretty quick huh?"

Silent, Estelle shifts and brushes her fingertips to the scar, feeling the raised edges and mentally calculating how deep the blade that made it had to be. She lines it up with what she knows about the human body and her face goes stark white.

"Yuri...Yuri, this would have killed you," she manages to say and she hates how her voice shakes. A wound like that would have destroyed his liver, his appendix, a fair amount of his intestines...Estelle feels sick to her stomach and fights the urge to examine him again just because she can.

And...oh, spirits.

When she healed him, she'd been thinking that he'd been bruised and battered but otherwise alright. Broken bones and cracked ribs are no problem, bruises and cuts are no problem; she could take care of all of those in her sleep. Even the bigger, more gruesome injuries were a non-issue and she could manage what she could in battle to keep everyone safe and moving and alive, but after it was all over, there was no escaping a more thorough examination. A wound like that required a more thorough, delicate touch otherwise it would still hurt for a long time afterwards, and she hadn't taken care of it. How badly had it hurt him? How many times had he fought and kept going through that pain? How many times had she healed him from battles and hadn't touched what hurt him most.

It's suddenly obvious to her how much work he must have gone into to hide this, not just from her but from everyone else. Yuri's not exactly the type to wander around shirtless for fun but it wasn't like the world was ending when he did, but after Zaude he'd stopped washing up with Raven and Karol and he always seemed to have a spare shirt on him for when his normal one was being washed. She hadn't thought about it all that much but now it's just so obvious to her that something had been strange and hinky and wrong.

They'd all had other things to focus on at the time, though, like saving the world, and Estelle was mostly so happy to have him whole and alive that she'd look over about anything for it.

How much hurt could she have staved off had she simply _noticed_?

There's a sudden burning behind her eyes and she blinks rapidly to cover up tears.

Estelle opens her mouth to speak but the words don't come and she knows that if she forces them, she'll probably sob instead. So she says nothing and instead continues running her fingertips along the mark. She can't heal it fully or take away all the residual pain but she can examine the tangles in the wound and use her artes to remove and loosen what she can, and she does.

"I'm sorry," she says when she can, "I can't fix it completely. It's had too long to handle itself, I'd hurt you even more if I tried. It might ache sometimes when it rains or when you strain yourself too much but you should be fine for most everything else…it shouldn't hurt anymore. I'm sorry. I wish I could do more."

Yuri tenses and breathes in through his teeth as the scar tissue twinges and then suddenly loosens. He takes a deep breath, removes Estelle's hand from his stomach and lets his shirt drop back down. He grabs her hand again and rests it under his on the pavement.

"Thanks," He says softly. "That feels a lot better."

He's not lying either. The ever present knot and tenseness that had been there was suddenly gone. He had gotten so used to it he didn't realize how annoying it was. His body relaxes more than it has been able to for a long time and he sags a little; suddenly feeling tired. But he doesn't want to move. Not yet.

A silence falls between them and Yuri side-eyes Estelle wonder what she is thinking about. He can see that the princess is close to tears and he wants to kick himself or maybe throw himself into the river. She was angry at him and blaming herself and he knew it was all because he had waited so damn long to talk about this. He gives her hand a small squeeze.

"You know, you can't blame yourself for this. I brought this upon myself-"

"Damn straight you did."

What else could make this situation even better? _Flynn_.

"So you told her." Flynn's voice doesn't sound quite as angry anymore as he speaks up behind his two friends. He stares down at them with his arms crossed and gives Yuri his best glare.

Yuri doesn't look up however and just nods. His words sound far more tired than he wants them to, but they're honest. "Yeah, I told her."

Estelle glances up at Flynn's approach.

"Flynn…"

"Hello, Lady Estellise. Yuri," Flynn says and sits down on Yuri's other side. He's shed his dress uniform and composed himself, and while he still looks stressed, he's lost a good deal of the tightness around his eyes. It was half-impossible to actually get the alone time that he needed to cool down; after he ran into Estelle it was like people couldn't leave him alone, and Flynn eventually resorted to sitting underneath his desk and avoiding everyone for a good while, at least until he could look in the mirror and not look like he'd been sent through the wringer. He dangles his legs over the edge of the river and stares into the murky water, but not before eyeing the interlaced hands of his friends.

Good, then.

It's unexpected, then, when Estelle leans around Yuri and looks him straight in the eyes to say very calmly, "Please tell me that you've _properly_ dealt with the situation," and Flynn can see her other hand clenched in her lap and hear the blade of ice in her voice. The only thing that goes unspoken is the steely _Or I will._

Oh, dear. Oh, dear, she's _angry_. Estelle is about the farthest thing from happy right now and despite that Yuri seems calmer with her around than he was with him and she's not too angry to offer comfort, she's very, very not happy. She doesn't normally get mad, but…

Flynn doesn't know the extent to which Yuri's spoken, but he knows that it any given bit of it would be enough to make her angry.

It probably doesn't help that he scared her half to death in his efforts.

Flynn nods slowly. "Yes, I have." He says simply, quietly, turning his gaze away from the princess. Yes, he had, and there was that foul taste in his mouth that he knew was going to linger for a very long time. But still, he feels relieved and lighter and not as shell shocked.

Yuri looks between his two friends, not quite sure if he should say something, stay quiet, or move. He really, really wanted to move.

Estelle's...angry. He had seen her upset before, maybe a little testy about something, but never like this. Flynn is mad and sad and nothing Yuri could blame him for and he is the reason for it all. What is worse was that both of them are harboring words and emotions towards him, but they weren't letting them out. He knows Flynn wants to deck him a good one and he knows Estelle wants to have her words with him, but here they sat on either side of him, mouths shut, eyes wavering, and muscles twitching.

He is, quite literally, stuck in the middle.

Yuri Lowell does not like the middle.

Taking a small breath he looks at Flynn, maybe he could fix this situation. "I really am sorry, Flynn. I didn't want to be the one to tell you. Not like that."

Flynn sags a little a little at the apology and drops his head into his hands.

"I just don't… I don't know how I didn't see it now. I didn't think that someone I knew so well could have so much hatred. I thought I knew her. And now it just makes me wonder how well I know the others under my command. I have to be able to trust my soldiers. And now…" he almost can't say it because he doesn't want to believe it. "If _Sodia_ could do that, what about someone else?" He shakes his head and folds his hands in his lap, twisting his fingers together.

"Please don't think like that," Estelle says. _It'll poison you_, she wants to say, because Flynn's soldiers adore him and that's one of the best things about him. It's what sets him apart from the other higher ups and it's the reason she trusts him so much to do what's right when so many others have taken advantage of their positions. He's warm and strong and likes people and she doesn't want him to lose that ever, to lose his faith in people. She won't tell him not to be paranoid; she'd be surprised if he wasn't for a good, long while. But he sounds so bitter and betrayed and she knows how that feels and how much it hurts and she wants him to fight it. She can fight for herself but she can't fight something like that, not for him. It's something he has to do for himself and it doesn't matter what it takes, she'll make sure that he fights.

"I'm so _angry_," Flynn says and cocks his head at Yuri, "At you, _for_ you. You stupid moron. But I won't apologize for this. Ever." Yuri will understand that he's talking about Estelle. He's not sorry, not really, about siccing her on him and it still takes everything he has to not reach out and either strangle Yuri or punch him in the face. Several times. He has the sinking feeling, though, that Estelle will have more than a few words to say to _him_ about it, though, after she's settled her own score with Yuri, because he can feel her seething in multiple directions.

Yuri just nods. He knows Flynn is angry and he knows he deserves the princess blindsiding. He _knows_ he was wrong for lying and he _knows_ that he's the reason for everyone's wavering emotions. He knew before he had even left Dahngrest that this was going to be the case.

It still sucked worse than he could have ever imagined. He didn't intend to cause his best friend to start second guessing everyone. He didn't intend to cause some unknown anger to surface in Estelle, but there it all is. The last thing he had intended was to get himself so shaken over it. Then again all throughout his life he had never intended for many things that have happened; some good, some bad. Perhaps he should just stop intending things in the first place then he would stop being so shocked when something turns out differently than he thought it would.

Stuck between wanting to say something to them and trying to sort out his own thoughts, Yuri has no idea what to do. They needed to get this over with; get these things out. Flynn started, but stopped and now his hands are twitching in his lap and Estelle's breathing through her teeth and he can see her jaw tensing out of the corner of his eye.

He could apologize over and over, but that wouldn't really help any of them. He could try and justify their anger; which would be easy because both of them were in their right, but also pointless because they didn't need to hear what they both already knew.

Figuring that staying quiet might be his best course of action Yuri leans back and looks up at the sky when he hears a rough growl behind him. He turns slightly to see Repede sitting and staring at him. Well, if dogs could glare, Repede was glaring. Yuri lets out a dry laugh. "You're mad at me too, huh, Repede? Though I bet I didn't fool you."

Repede gives a short bark in response which Yuri figures must mean "Well, I'm not stupid."

Flynn reaches over and gives Repede a scratch under the collar, the motion as familiar as breathing. He has the feeling that the dog won't be forgetting this anytime soon either, if the looks he's giving Yuri are any indication. Estelle looks like she doesn't know what to say. Flynn thinks that there just aren't any more words.

Not yet, anyway.

"At least _someone_ had a clue of what was going on," Flynn says bitingly, catching a snarl between his teeth. He exchanges annoyed glances with Repede, "Unlike the rest of us, of course."

Estelle doesn't second his words but he's pretty sure that she agrees, sitting stiffly on Yuri's other side, distinctly like a princess instead of the way he's gotten rather used to, not quite to the indignity of sprawling but not far off.

_Oh for the love of-_

"That does it!" Yuri snaps. He rips his hand from Estelle and jumps up, startling Repede who jumps back out of his way with a surprised bark. Standing at his full height Yuri towers over Flynn purposefully and crosses his arms over his chest.

His face was going to regret this in the morning, but it is going to be so worth it once all of this was said and done with.

Narrowing raven colored eyes at his best friend, Yuri snarls through a clenched jaw, "Do you think this was something I planned out? That I purposefully waited all this time just so I could hurt you like this? Well, I didn't, Flynn. I made a mistake and I admitted that." He throws an arm out for dramatic effect. "All I am trying to do is be honest with you!"

Flynn goes stock-still.

Oh, that's it.

That is absolutely _it_.

"Oh, we're being honest now, are we?" he growls and scrambles to his feet as well so that he's face to face and chest to chest with Yuri. Estelle looks a bit startled at this turn of events but not particularly surprised, and she merely waits in silence, her hands folded across her lap. She knows that neither of them would dare step on her. "How's this for honesty?" And he reels his fist back and slams Yuri in the jaw as hard as he can, sending his friend flying a few steps backwards. "That's for lying to me," he says, and hits him again on the other side, "And that's for not trusting me." He stops then, breathing slightly heavy.

His knuckles ache a little bit but in a good way.

He feels better, actually.

Yuri catches himself before he can teeter over backwards to the ground and stands doubled over, rubbing his jaw for a good minute before his head stops spinning.

_Freaking….ow! I knew he was pissed but jeez._

Once the ground has settled to its rightful, stable place he straightens himself up and cocks his head to the side at Flynn. "Better now?"

Flynn blinks at him. "Of all the-" He balls his fist up again and then lets it go and settles on grabbing the bridge of his nose. Of course Yuri did that on purpose.

But he does feel better. Much, much better.

Flynn remains standing until his breathing evens out and finds his gaze drawn to Estelle again, who's staring up at them with an unreadable look on her face. Somehow, that look makes something in him shift uncomfortably and he has the distinct feeling that she's going to do something, probably something that he's not going to like.

Yuri follows his stare and gulps a little bit.

The girl gets to her feet and bats the dust off of her dress with dainty hands.

She gives them both a crooked smile.

"Well, I suppose that if we're in the market for honesty right now…" she murmurs and approaches Yuri, reaching out to pat him on the cheek, excruciatingly gently where Flynn hit him the second time. And with that, she pulls back and clocks him right in the juncture where his arm meets his shoulder. Yuri makes a pained, choked whine when she hits him, reaching up immediately to rub gingerly at it. "_That_ was for lying to _me_," she snaps, "How dare you hide something like from me? Don't _ever_ do it again. Not when it involves your health."

Wide-eyed, Yuri can only nod at her.

And then Flynn makes _his_ biggest mistake of the day and snickers under his breath. Three seconds later he finds himself faced with a furious green stare.

"And you!" Estelle shifts and walks up to him and gives no warning at all before smacking him upside the head, putting power into the hit instead of show, leaving Flynn wincing, "Don't ever worry me like that again. I don't care why you did it, it's not _funny_."

"Yes, Lady Estellise," Flynn replies immediately, blue eyes watering.

Spirits, he knew she was strong but he didn't call that one.

Yuri rolls his shoulder with a grimace and looks at Estelle wide-eyed. "God…_damn_. The old man wasn't lying when he said you could hit."

Estelle just smiles up at him with that sickeningly sweet smile of hers as Flynn raises an eyebrow at the princess.

"You…punched Raven?" He asks warily. He didn't know the guild member very well outside of a couple conversations he's had with him (which were mainly business), but Flynn knew that he got on a lot of people's nerves when he was trying; mostly Yuri's (in both endearing and not so charming ways). But…Estelle?

"Everyone else had had a chance to give them a piece of their mind. I only added my two gald to the pile." The princess says matter-of-factly. Yuri snorts under his breath as Estelle turns to Flynn, her expression completely sincere. "It was only fair and he deserved it."

Yuri rolls his eyes, absently alternating between rubbing his jaw and his shoulder. He sits back down at the river's edge with a stiff grunt. "You went easy on him, Estelle."

There's a sparkle in Estelle's eye as she shrugs innocently, watching Yuri from behind before turning to look at Flynn. Punches thrown, it was obvious both of them were feeling better, but only a little. Yuri stares distantly at the water in the river while Flynn has turned his gaze skyward, his eyes following a wayward cloud passing over them. She knows it is going to take time for this to settle completely, but if there was something she could do right now to help the process, she will.

Flynn drops back down to the ground seconds later and mulls that over.

"Wait a second…" he mutters and tilts his head up, looking the girl in the eyes, "Raven was Captain Schwann." He can't help but be kind of horrified at the idea. And kind of fascinated too. "You _punched_ Captain Schwann." Estelle just shrugs a little bit and crosses her arms over her chest.

"I don't care if he was moonlighting as Prince Ioder, he still deserved it."

Yuri makes a strangled snort that most definitely covers up a laugh and Flynn buries his face in his hands.

"We're a sight, aren't we?" he declares to the lot of them, and Estelle moves.

"Don't move," she says firmly and even Yuri can't do anything but obey when she says it like that, and kneels down behind them, wrapping an arm around each of them and dragging them in close so that Flynn's cheek brushes hers and Yuri's does the same on the other side.

Flynn feels heat rising in his face and it's a good thing that his voice has apparently decided to stop working because if it hadn't, all that would come out would probably be a stream of incoherent flailing as opposed to something along the lines of _Lady Estellise is hugging me, this is so inappropriate, oh spirits, this is inappropriate, I wonder what Yuri's face looks like right now?_

He likes it, though, and will deny to the very end if anyone asks that he leans into it, the warmth of a friend and someone he can't help but trust very, very much.

Yuri, for his part, looks just as shell shocked as his friend. He's been hugged by Estelle before, sure, multiple times in fact, but it was usually for an understandable reason; a celebration, a victory in a battle or a reunion after they hadn't seen each other for awhile. Most of the time it was her simply getting overexcited about something like she always does and she flings herself around his shoulders for a brief second before pulling back, somewhat embarrassed by her own enthusiasm.

He's never had an 'I am furious at you, therefore I shall hug you' moment before, though. It made no sense to him. After the initial shock the punches weren't unexpected at all. In fact, from Flynn he was surprised he had to coax him into doing it. Flynn had hugged him earlier though, he now remembers.

Trying to reason it out in his head Yuri finds himself completely baffled. He had lied to them, made them angry and upset. So…they both hug him? It is a weird new trend that he's pretty sure he's never going to understand.

Not that he doesn't welcome it. Relaxing against Estelle, Yuri realizes just how tense he had been. His side twinges and he lets out a breath to allow his head to fall against the Princess' cool cheek. If he was tired before, he was exhausted now, but for the time being he doesn't want to move.

Tossing a sideways glance to Flynn, Yuri has to bite his tongue. The commandant looks more awkward than Yuri does in knight's armor, with his flushed cheeks and his eyes desperately trying to find something to settle on. Flynn is not used to being hugged by royalty.

Estelle just closes her eyes and holds them tight, feeling her heart lighten when they both lean in, Yuri first and then Flynn a heartbeat behind. There's nothing she can really say to make things better, nothing to keep Flynn from feeling hurt and nothing to keep Yuri from feeling guilty but she can still _be there_ and maybe that will be enough to satisfy her own feelings, the ones that scream at her to protect them because she loves them both so dearly. Being able to be there is an upgrade from what she started with, and her only regret is that it took this long to get here.

Time will help, time and care.

Time will take care of itself but come hell or high water, Estelle will make sure that this time, she'll do her best to keep the care part covered.

"You're not allowed," she says suddenly, soft but a little bit steely, "This isn't your fault. You aren't allowed to take the blame for this." She emphasizes her words with a gentle tap of her fingers on Flynn's neck and she can feel more than see him take in a ragged, shaky breath.

"Yes, Lady Estellise," he answers, sounding a little choked, and if he turns his head a little until all he can see is pink instead of sunshine, he won't be saying anything about it anytime soon. He'll still feel guilty, there's no way to take it all away, but her words help. They're not the kind of orders he's used to taking (and giving, these days), _go kill that monster, Scifo_, _go attend that military party, Scifo_, _go get Captain Farmon out of the mead again, Scifo_, but they're orders nonetheless and right now it's easier to do what he's told than to fight it.

"You either," she whispers to Yuri and tilts her head in, close enough to kiss. She can feel the guilt coming off him in waves and yes, she's upset that he didn't tell her right away, but she doesn't want him to hurt. She just wants him to remember that he's not alone and that he doesn't have to take it all on himself, because it's so very clear now that he's been hurt and still is.

Yuri closes his eyes tight as he listens to Estelle's breathing. It's quick and short, but not as shaky as it had been before; there's no more anger or tension. He knows both Flynn and Estelle will forgive him with time. Just as he knows his own guilt will subside with time; after he tells everyone else. If only time didn't go so _slowly_ when it came to these things.

Although for the moment, Yuri was glad for slow time. He is not known as a very touchy person, but here, now, he was just fine with being a little bit cushy. At least until he hears a small, low chuckle from a little ways away. It's a familiar, age worn chuckle and Yuri is suddenly aware of a rush of heat on his cheeks. He pulls his head off Estelle's shoulder and clears his throat loudly tossing a quick glance over his shoulder at Hanks who looks just as amused as he sounds.

Estelle raises an eyebrow at him as he shifts and Yuri reaches around her to give Repede a quick pat on the back to use as a diversion. "We're leaving someone out."

"Oh!" The princess practically throws Flynn aside as she turns towards the dog sitting just behind her. "Repede, you can join too!"

Repede looks up at her and if Yuri didn't know better he was sure the dog had sighed and would have rolled his eyes if he could. Taking the quick distraction, Yuri pushes himself away and stands up, stretching with a grimace. "Well, I'm beat. I think I'm going to turn in for the night."

Estelle snaps her head up at him. "Without dinner?"

Yuri resists the urge to groan out loud. He does grimace and scratches behind his head. "I'm honestly not all that hungry." He throws a glance at Flynn.

And grins wide.

"Unless it's on the commandant, in which case count me in."

Flynn sputters indignantly at Yuri's suggestion and glowers up at him.

"And why, exactly, is it on me? I paid for lunch, too. Cretin." he demands, still on the ground, and regrets asking almost instantly when Yuri smirks at him and jerks his head towards Estelle. The girl blinks rapidly and untangles her arm from round Flynn's neck and he almost hates that he misses it. Almost, because his skin's still warm where she touched.

"What, you're gonna make the princess pay her own tab?" Yuri tsks and shakes his head in a mockery of lamentation and it kind of makes Flynn want to punch him again, "That's kinda rude, Flynn. I thought you had manners; some commandant you are."

Flynn glares and scrambles to his feet.

"More like why am I paying for _you_?" he then turns to Estelle and extends a hand, "Let me help you up, Lady Estellise." Her fingers curl around his and he pulls her gently to her feet.

"No one has to pay for me," she protests vehemently, as both he and Yuri knew she would, and Flynn's a goner because if he doesn't pay for both of them, she'll insist on paying for _all_ of them and his pride won't let her do that. Because he's a giant sucker. "I can—"

"Don't worry about it," he tells her with a sharp glance in Yuri's direction; the other man has yet to lose his shit-eating grin. Flynn sighs a little and lets the side of his lips tilt up the most honest smile he's given all day. "That guy over there can come too, I suppose. If he must."

This time it's Estelle who grins and shakes her head, feeling lighter and brighter like she's come out of a thunderstorm.

"Don't be mean."

Yuri flinches dramatically. "Ouch, that was harsh, Flynn." He puts a hand to his neck and cocks his head to the side, his grin widening even further (if that was possible). "I guess I should have seen that coming though."

Flynn just raises an eyebrow in response, his rebuttal loud and clear. _Damn straight you should have_.

This exchange however has completely sailed over the princess' head as she dusts off her skirt and then looks up, wide eyed. "Where should we go? I haven't eaten in many places down here." Excitement has seeped into her voice. "Everywhere Yuri's taken me so far has been delicious though, so you two decide."

Yuri turns to her and quirks his mouth. "Well, if you've eaten anything Flynn's made, you should be fine just about anywhere down here."

Flynn flails a little and sputters at his friend. "L-like you should be talking Yuri!"

"Hey, I think I'm a pretty decent cook."

Flynn's about to retaliate when Estelle interrupts the both of them by ducking in between them, taking one of Yuri's hands in one of hers and Flynn's in the other.

"Enough," she says with a wide grin that says she thinks they're hysterically funny, just in time to hear the bushes rustle and the sound of retreating footsteps. Flynn turns and stares in that direction, looking a little disturbed.

"Was that…?" he begins and trails off. Yuri shrugs.

"They're just jealous," he teases, "Good thing we didn't have that breakup chat, right?" Flynn gapes at him just as Estelle goes _huh?_ and Yuri can't resist making a clicking noise between his teeth and a crooked grin, to Flynn's horror. "Come on, I know a nice little place a few streets down… Let's go, Repede."

"You kidding, Yuri?" Flynn protests even as they start walking and Estelle starts making their hands swing back and forth, "The place next to the inn's so much better."

"Trying to kill the girl now, Flynn? Get with it. Is that where you learned to cook? It'd sure explain a lot."

"S-s-shut up, Yuri!" Flynn stammers, and would probably protest further if not for the fact that the girl in the middle of them is now laughing outright, drawing all of the stares and glances that the sight of the princess, the commandant, and the local hero/shit-stirrer walking hand in hand hadn't. He doesn't even care.

It doesn't fix everything, they all know that well enough, but it can fix enough for now, and it can fix even more later and maybe there will be a time that Flynn doesn't feel quite so raw and that Yuri can think about what happened and have it not matter, but that time's not now and that's okay.

"Is my cooking really that bad?" Flynn can't help but ask on the way, ignoring Yuri's cut-off snicker. Estelle smiles at him and doesn't answer. "Come on, tell me. Is it that bad?"

"Yes, it's that bad—"

"I wasn't asking you—"

"Um, I think you and I could both use some practice?" Estelle says diplomatically. Well, it's not a lie.

Yuri grins and Flynn rubs his temples and Estelle holds on tight to both of them and it's enough.

None of them are alone and it's enough.

* * *

Thanks so much for reading! Please feel free to leave any comments. We appreciate feedback and are constantly looking to improve our work.

Till next time =)

Siri & Legi


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